Sunday, January 13, 2013

Une Femme d’un Certain Âge

Bryan thinks I like this photo because he looks afraid of me. He's only a little bit right.
Photo from my office post-holiday party this weekend.
I also like it because this is how I think I look as I go about my day. It is only when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in rogue windows that I realize the right light does not follow me around. I am 40. Neither old nor young, really, which brings me to middle-aged, a horrible phrase that conjures up things that are dry: toast, skin, flyaway hair but not humor. It reminds me of that A.A. Milne poem "Halfway Down":

Halfway down the stairs / Is a stair / Where I sit. / There isn’t any / Other stair / Quite like / It. / I’m not at the bottom, / I’m not at the top; / So this is the stair / Where / I always / Stop. / Halfway up the stairs / Isn’t up, / And isn’t down. / It isn’t in the nursery, / It isn’t in the town. / And all sorts of funny thoughts / Run round my head: / “It isn’t really / Anywhere! / It’s somewhere else / Instead!”

Which is where I am, I think, most days as I walk around thinking I look like this. Not up, not down, not afraid even, but somewhere else instead.


Jennifer C. Webb said...

thanks for making 40 look so glamorous. Great poem

jennifer said...

just explaining to my 10 yr old how I can no longer dress like a 25yr old (i'm 42:) how I have to now wait till i'm 70 to dress that way again.
I don't prefer middle-age. there's a lot of pressure to be confident? serious? adult? i don't know.

you're correct, the photo is very flattering and the huz appears panicked!

Anonymous said...

I feel the same and I'm 57. I'm always so surprised when I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror or store window. Oh well.