Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Tuesday (Monday in Masquerade)

Some days, like today, I walk past homeless people sleeping on sidewalks and think how did we let this happen? As a society, I mean. The plaza I cut across on my way to work is home to bike messengers hocking loogies and homeless people huddled beneath blankets soiled stiff. Which makes it sound as if the bike messengers are huddled beneath the blankets with the homeless people, but no. They are just there smoking pot and the homeless people, they are just lying there. Sometimes I see them and feel sad; sometimes I don't notice them at all, and that is sadder still.

Bryan and I got into a big fight, the kind that we could not resolve so here we are, slowly creeping back toward one another with small offerings of kindness, a bowl of popcorn and a quiet i love you said at the end of a phone call. Because what is the alternative? Either we have this same fight for the rest of our lives together or we don't have the rest of our lives together. The thing of it is, he makes really good popcorn, adds extra salt and butter, and the kids have his eyes, so. There's that, which is all there needs to be.

I went online to my health insurance carrier to get my eyeglass prescription to order new glasses and couldn't find it. There I was poking around in the tab marked "Health Summary" and found that I have been formally diagnosed with an ongoing medical condition: Hypochondriasis. This is not a complete surprise, but still. Seeing it there on my permanent record like that. I ended up having to email my doctor because I never did find my eyeglass prescription and now I'm afraid she's going to email me back that I don't actually need glasses, what am I talking about? Freak.

That's all I've got today.


Richie Designs said...

sometimes I wonder the same thing. How did we get to the place where we can step over another human being and have it be ok.

I wish there was an answer.

Michelle M in KY said...

I know, I know...I have been AWOL. I've been reading, just too busy to comment.

I think we have gotten to this place for the same reasons that we're offering small peace offerings because we have forgotten how to treat people.

Like you, Tommy and I got in a fight last weekend. It started over something mundane (like the dripping sink) and it escalated into the never ending to-do list of things I feel he has not done.

During these arguments and the days after the bitterness if fierce and the reflection plenty. I started thinking, when did it become all or nothing? That we fight with such intensity and say certain things that we would never have dreamed of saying before.

What I'm saying is that if we are so willing to fight, argue, and harbor resentment towards our spouses so willingly then why would we care about the homeless man on the street?

We've put blinders on to so much around us until it's in our face or until one day we crack. We don't argue reasonably or take into account at that moment how much we really love this person, so it's easy to lose sight and let things spew that we would normally keep to ourselves.

So, until we open our eyes to the human beings (spouses) right in front of us during those heated moments and treat them with kindness and respect too, then it will remain easy to step over the man on the plaza!

Just my two cents with loads of reflection on the topic. Hope things get smoother between you and Bryan and that the road ahead is filled with love, laughter and large bowls of popcorn!