Sunday, January 26, 2014

Climate Change

My house looks out on bay marshland so we see the tide go in, go out, the bike path disappear during a full moon. It's nice, this unspoken tie to it all, something that I forget sometimes, take for granted most times. Although one of my favorite small pleasures happens when I get off the bus at the end of the day from my commute back from the city--I take a deep breath of salt air. It smells of sweet grass and right.

Which is why it suddenly struck me how wrong it is that every photo I have taken this winter is of us sailing or swimming or at the beach, short sleeves and warm. We are smiling, I won't lie. 72 degrees in January is amazing, but it is an unsettled amazing. Amazement met with worry, with a gut level realization that this is wrong, because really? This is the driest year in recorded history and everywhere I go conversations are peppered with percentages of rainfall, record high temperatures and the rapid increase of catastrophic fire. My skin is dry, my eyes feel gritty, my banana plant died from frost or lack of water, not sure, the hills are the silver gray of teak. I am scared, and I want to turn to Zoey and Ozzy and apologize profusely because this is my fault--our fault--not theirs. We fucked up, and now they have to live with it.

So here we are. It's been a beautiful winter, stunning. Today we went on a bike ride and I wore a tank top. I am trying, but it's hard to see the glass half full when the Sierra snow pack is grasping at 17%.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Cartoon Eyes

Sit down, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I had nothing to say. And then it was New Year's Eve and I got throw up sick and listened to the fireworks at midnight with my head in the toilet. I tried not to feel too sorry for myself or think it meant something. Not everything has to mean something, I said to myself. (I had eaten pizza earlier that night and my thoughts tasted like sausage and onion.) And then it was New Year's Day, and then January 2nd. The 3rd. Still nothing meant anything, and I had nothing to say. So I didn't. I just kind of did this...
I went to a few dress up parties and read a really good book. I started binge-watching Nurse Jackie. I bought a lighted marquee om sign for my living room because, well, I don't know. It never rained once during that time, and I thought, I should update my blog, I haven't written anything, but I didn't. And then it was mid-January and we are officially in a drought. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I fully intended to volunteer somewhere in her memory, but it felt more right to go shopping instead, to buy myself something I shouldn't spend money on. Which is how I ended up buying leather pants, or more specifically leather-coated denim pants, but whatever. My mom would approve which didn't keep me from feeling sad, but I'm thinking leather pants don't keep anyone from feeling sad. That's not their strong suit.

But there is this. We got a new kitten. Meet Chachi (nicknames so far: Chach, Cheech, Chicharone, Chachicha, Chachi in Charge.) I picked him up 2 days ago. I can't believe I haven't eaten him up yet, he is so delicious.
Before he fell in love with me.
After he fell in love with me.
Loving my babies.
I still intend on volunteering somewhere, and I still don't really have anything to say except I guess I hope it rains soon, and I am lucky. Though it doesn't mean anything, I'm going to write anyway.