Monday, July 8, 2013

This Is Happening (Not What You Think) (Unless You're Thinking of Pink Fluffy Unicorns)

Good god, people. Thank you for your comments and emails. Internet hugs are real, yo,' and if I sound flippant it's only because I don't know how else to act and thank you is not enough.

Cancer is still a total dick and I am still walking around wondering how I could possibly still need to buy more cat food when this is happening, but that's a lot of stills and let's face it--nothing stays still even when you are pretty sure your world has stopped. I asked my mom's oncologist the question we all see in movies, i.e. how much time, and he gave a very wide range of somewhere between I don't know and cover my ass. His ass. This sucks ass is pretty much the only thing we all know for sure. Titshitcocksucker, caught in a limbo of please, fuck no. I just might be in the anger stage of grief.

At the same time I have this song stuck in my head, something that Zoey showed me online, and I am trying very hard to make it my mantra seeing as how it makes as much sense as anything these days.

It's Monday morning. My mom is dying. There, I said it. Now go ahead and watch the video and try it with me. Pink fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows, pink fluffy unicorns dancing on, dancing on rainbows...



Ceci said...

Jeez. I wish there was some magical thing to say to make everything right. I have had the same experience with my mom. I know your hurt.

Celebrate Life! :)

...Pink fluffy Unicorns dancing on rainbows...

Anonymous said...

I have read your blog for a long time Susannah and am so sorry to hear this news about your mom. How hard it must be to go through the motions of life when this is happening. I wish I had magic word that could bring you comfort. The only thing I can suggest for some temporary peace is nature - the redwoods, the ocean. Sending you a cyber hug. Peace, Erin

The Steel Magnolia said...

Hugs. Tears. Love. More hugs. I'm so sorry. That is all.

Sharon said...

I'm sorry.

Sharon said...

I'm sorry.

Jackee Garcia said...

Much love to you during this time Susannah.
I just lost my mom June 4th.

Although there is life and people around me, I feel lonely.

I quit writing on my blog a few years ago when I put my aging mom into assisted living "for her safety and protection".
I was Debbie downer on the blog so I stopped. But honestly, you write so beautifully and honestly about Life in all it's glory, simplicity and even ugliness. Love your mom these days. Don't have any regrets.
Sending warm squishy thoughts, and
Singing your song, when you forgot the words - Jackee

Soupy said...

I'm so sorry. No words can take away the pain, but I love reading your blog, and I'm so sorry for your pain.

Petunia Face said...

Thank you all so much. Sending you my love right back.

And Jackee--I am so sorry about your mother. And that you feel lonely. I wish we could get a cup of coffee and chat, even though I don't even drink coffee. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

I happened upon your blog years ago and have loved reading about you and your family's adventures. Grandma Glitter is amazing. I can't look at an African Grey parrot and not think of her. How crazy is that? That this incredible woman is eternal--not only through her beautiful grandchildren--but because you took the time to record it, a stranger walking into a pet shop in Belgium thinks of your mother, who she has never met.

What I mean to say is that I'm so sorry. Nothing will make this pain go away, but I hope you know and receive the prayers and light that are being sent to you and your family from around the world.

-Sarah K.