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He has a seemingly primordial need to return to the ocean, how he runs for it as fast as he can. Into the waves, lakes, fountains, puddles. He doesn't even laugh as he's doing it either; it's business, this push to go back. I would be lying if I didn't say Bryan isn't happy about this, visions of surf trips and days spent sailing no doubt running through his mind as he sprints to make sure Ozzy doesn't drown.

He is my little sea monkey, coming to life when wet, my dried up brine shrimp unfurling in salt water only to become like the cartoon version big-eyed silly thing in the back of comic books, a real life fun pet I grow myself. (The subtext reads: "So eager to please! They can even be trained!" This, not the only part of the ad that misleads.)

At the end of each bath I let the water drain and still he refuses to get out, lays on his tummy as the water recedes and there is nothing. Just him making out with the shiny wet bottom of the tub. Fiths! Fiths! My little boy who thinks he's a fish.

I end with this: Saturday afternoon, time to leave the beach. My sea monkey fish boy pissed off and sandy, flailing, gasping for more.

“We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back from whence we came…” – John F. Kennedy

“From birth, man carries the weight of gravity on his shoulders. He is bolted to earth. But man has only to sink beneath the surface and he is free.” – Jacques Yves Cousteau

"Fiths!" –Ozzy Alston


p.s. Apologies but I had to switch Word Verification back on as I was sick of deleting 100+ spam comments each day. This--this is why we can't have nice things.