Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Endless Summer

There are things you don’t write about on blogs. Like about how much I love cereal, for instance. I mean god, I fucking love cereal, but that would be boring, writing about cereal. No, you don’t write about cereal or sadness, or about how I can understand those mothers who shake their babies. Not that I would ever shake a baby let alone my baby, but there are those moments when he is crying and crying and crying and my hands grow stiff with fuck! The difference between me and those mothers who shake their babies only in the fact that I don’t.

So what you write about on blogs are cherry blossoms and Cadbury Cream Eggs, the curve of his cheek a mathematical equation plotted on a graph that equals everything, plus the napkin I drew for her lunchbox today.



eRin said...

I LOVE cereal. Why DON'T we talk about that more? There is an endless supply of cereal at my office, ten feet away from my desk. It is like the best nightmare ever.

And my heart breaks for the mothers that shake their babies, and the ones that don't but are standing so close to that razor-sharp edge that they could reach out and take the hands of those other mothers; the ones who lost their grip in one split second. It's a horrible kind of understanding.

But you don't. You put him down and walk away and let him cry, and you cry and breathe until all you can see is the curve of his cheek and your endless font of motherly patience and love is brimming full again so you can give him the quiet and comfort he needs.

Why don't we write about this, more, too?

Mornings with Milo said...

That napkin needs a frame around it! Nice work!! Milo has endless summer on his wall and a couple of my husband's surfboards...never tire of it! And as for the rest of the stuff, your fellow mama's know all about screaming babies and pulling your hair out!

Jen said...


michelle m in ky said...

OH SUSANNAH... first I agree and love Erin's response. I, too love cereal...and is it wrong that my kids ate it for breakfast and then again for lunch yesterday? It was one of those days in motherhood that I didn't care what they ate as long as they ate and stopped with the fussing...which brings me to the shaking your baby...I don't know why it's not talked about more...we have all been there on the brink...then we lay them dawnsnd walk away and the crying continues and something inside you breaks...for me it was my heart...and like Erin thing you know I was crying too. For what? Everything and something. Because I understand those mothers and because I am not one...because I can see the snapping point even though i did not snap...because I empathize and critisize those mothers...for I am one and you are one...and we are all just trying to hold it together. I love them so much my heart aches and at the same time I just need a moment of silence. I feel you girl and btw...that napkin makes you a rock star...frame it for sure.

Diane said...

It's not just you!