IN YOUR FACE (Make That My Face)

On Friday I had what felt like a teeny piece of glass in my cheek. See that? I asked anybody who would look. But nope, nobody saw anything. On Saturday something happened, then there was Sunday, and on Monday that teeny piece of glass had become a patch of fiery pissed off-edness on my cheek, eye and beneath my nose. See that? I asked, and people averted their eyes. Here is a photo of me* today wearing my best lift-my-spirits tropical bandana:The doctor says I have Erysipelas, also called Holy Fire. I much prefer the name Holy Fire because HOLY FUCK THIS HURTS. Basically it's an acute streptococcus bacterial infection of the deep epidermis with lymphatic spread, i.e. instead of strep throat I have STREP FACE. Let's let that sink in. Strep. In my face, yo. See also: fever, chills, fatigue and the worst migraine in the history of people hitting you in the face with a metal bat that's somehow also on fire.

I console myself with the fact that Erysipelas was the disease to get (and then die of) in Medieval times which makes me something of a novelty in 2011. I have also been consoling myself with Vicodin and some heavy duty antibiotics. Good times.

*Like I would really take and then post a photo of my own face on fire.