Ridiculous (I Mean Really)

I am a fairly agreeable Miss of the masses. That is, I don't really question when the reality show cameras just so happen to be lurking around PCH to catch Justin Bobby ride by low on his hog, the sunset behind him like the ending of a particularly-climactic porn. No, I smile gamely through Tyra, currently disparage Tiger and don't think much of it when my local news station resets their station id with the tagline news you can trust. After all, why shouldn't I? Their hair doesn't move, they look me in the eye and sometimes they even pronounce names as they should be said somewhere. Las Ahnheeleeees. I sit on my couch plucking my eyebrows and think totally.

But there is one thing that has been irking me for quite some time now, me who buys Us Weekly and People magazine every Friday, my own little happy hour complete with (no) think specials. It's this: Sexy Face. The increasingly popular deadened eyes at half-mast, mouth agape, body twisted torqued to thrust out boobs and butt and-- well, that's it really. Variations of Sexy Face include one finger precariously close to mouth, pursed lips and possibly sneezing, or being caught in mid-sneeze. It would seem. I don't know. Here is the latest offender, this pic of J Lo in the back of Us Weekly under the title Unshorn Celebrities! Because god forbid her bangs are too fringe-y but no problem if she is looking at the camera as if caught in mid-shart.

When Zoey saw it (one night after reading Goodnight Moon) she giggled and I asked her why and this is what she did:

Which I loved, of course, even though she needed to open her mouth a bit more but you know, she's young, there's time, lipgloss. Anyhow, it got me thinking: what if we all just start rocking the Sexy Face? At bars, at home, over dinner, standing by the copier at work, all the world experiencing the same hemorrhagic stroke of sexy?
Mid-blink, mid-sneeze, somebody cut the cheese. Imagine the possibilities...

I dare you.

Please report back your findings.