Monday, November 2, 2009

On Second Thought: Why DON'T Kids Use Pillowcases to Trick-or-Treat Anymore?

No doubt the interwebs are abuzz with pics of petite pirates and princesses, balloon boys, bees, their parents a mere blah blah behind them so proud. And I get it: Halloween is over, 2 days gone, store windows already dusted with styrofoam snowflakes, bins of spiders marked 75% off at outlet. But wait! There's more! This pumpkin is not yet doubled over soft, the bottom only sits in a very shallow puddle of liquified goo, I swear. Please don't shaving cream my blog but indulge me these last bits of my favorite holiday of all time and then some: Halloween, when everyone gets to be someone else.
My first memory of Halloween is standing outside my house while my dad took my photo. I was dressed as a ballerina and only noticed years later that my shoes were on the wrong feet. I wish I could find that picture now but in all honesty I don't really need it. I have this photo: not a ballerina but a leopard boasting the same glee and self-satisfaction years before it's deemed unbecoming to feel such things.
And then this. God: this. I mean, really, I want to lick my hand and pass it firm over her head and behind her ears like a mama leopard, nudging my forehead into hers, a kiss. (And then, truth be told, I want to push her father into our bedroom to make a hundred more babies just like this, like her, a hundred and one kitten Zoeys, though something tells me that is not a compliment any child wants to hear, much less in the face of so much leopard print.)
Another Halloween memory, years later: I was maybe ten, old enough to trick or treat with a friend unchaperoned. My friend was dressed as Pippi Longstocking, I was Mommie Dearest. We cut through a park holding our pillowcases of Sweetarts and Reece's when a group of teenage boys crowded around us to steal our candy. My friend had wire in her braids to make them bend up like Pippi's, and the boys, they bent her wires down like two arms broken and we cried. Why are you doing this? I asked, and they said, Because we're older! And when you're in the tenth grade you'll do it, too! I am very happy to report that I never stole anyone's candy, not even in the tenth grade. Although when I think back to that memory I do kind of laugh now, the image of those braids pointing out and then down. The best thing about Halloween is having a very good friend with whom to trick or treat, and a mom who will let you raid the candy bowl when you come back without your pillowcase, even if it was one of her good ones.
Next up: Thanksgiving, though you'll be happy to note I have never been a fan of this day of turkey and dirty dishes, football, leaves on tables too long, crevices stuffed with necks. Still--perhaps the day could be improved if I wore my mustache? Got a little cranberry sauce on the tip there? And don't even get me started on those turkeys that kids make by tracing their hands, the thumb dripping with a little wobbly gobbly, the pinky glop-topped with an feather dyed orange. Good god, if Zoey presents me with one of those construction paper bad boys I am totally going to lose it, sell my soul to Hallmark and call myself a mommyblogger without even a hint of apology. My kid is the cutest facking leopard ever! Hear me roar!


MFAMB said...

she certainly is!!!!

krista said...

my mom mentioned that if people really wanted to be 'green' (and ergonomically correct, apparently) they would totally bring back the pillowcase. for some reason that struck me as the absolute funniest thing i'd ever heard.
and, yes, that's a pretty fracking adorable leopard.
that mustache ain't so bad, either :-)

anita said...

Love it! Happy Halloween.

Erin said...

You throw one hell of a Halloween party, S! We had fun partying and trick or treating with you! xoxo

Cathi said...

You're absolutely right, Zoey is the cutest leopard ever - just adorable!

Brandi at Duel Living said...

Zooey is just so cute! Those eyes! And I love her little princess friend who had her face painted like a leopard too.
I loved the pillow case bags on halloween...nothing says how much of a loser you are until you carry a drool stained psychodelic colored pillowcase with shit brown piping....we had fugly sheets in my house!

Sarah Ring said...

Aww - Zoey! What an adorable little leopard!

benson said...

she is SO cute! Maybe change Thanksgiving into the day of why we say we're thankful for such cute little leopards in our lives--amen.

ZDub said...

We saw a kid with a pillowcase on Halloween and Zoe lost her shizz. I caught her looking at her PBK treat bag in disgust because "it doesn't hold as much candy as a pillowcase".


Zoe looks adorbs, love your moustache. You would make a very attractive man.

Simply Mel {Reverie} said...

She is beyond cute; she is freakin' fabulous!

Richie Designs said...

nice stash!

I think you should make more babies that look like that. maybe not 100 but just one more. come on...for us? Brian? please can we have another one? please we promise to read daily I swear.

Anonymous said...

am i the only one that found this whole post and comments incredibly boring? Sure Zoey is cute, we've all told you that a million times, but so is every kid running around on H-ween. Guess you want to keep hearing it and hearing it and hearing it.
C'mon Susannah -- i look to your blog for more than "isn't my kid the cutest thing ever".
snooze ho hum goodnight.

Petunia Face said...

I guess it's true that you can't please all of the people all of the time (or anonymous ever).

Everyone else--thank you for your kind comments (and yes, I DO love hearing that Zoey is cute! :))

blanco said...

Slightly saddened at the Anonymous posting, if you had a little girl/boy that you were proud of, and they amazed you every day; I'm sure you'd also be shouting from the rooftops.

My sisters certainly do and I'm sure when the time comes, I will too.


Oh this post makes me want Halloween even more. I was sick this year for it so I didn't get the chance to go out. I was deeply miffed.

Zoey will be a heart-breaker, that much is for sure. I like the first photo the most; she looks like she's having a blast, bless her.

Actually, if pillow cases were brought back, revived as it were, could you actually imagine yourself customising the pillows to go with your little boy/girl's outfit? Cute right?

Lovely post as usual.

MFAMB said...

i came here to tell you that i am so happy the switch witch was a success! i can't take credit for it though, actually the actor daniel craig told me about it.
in those little in style celebrity questionnaire things in the back of the magazine. he does it with his children. hot AND smart!!

but i can't help talk about the audacity of that anonymous fuckhead who decided it was ok to tell you that talking about YOUR kid on YOUR blog was too boring for them. as i tell all my anon blobs of cunt mucus (thanks for that susannah i will never be the same again)if you don't like it...JOG ON!!!!!!

Maggie May said...

she looks great- and so does mustache momma- which cracks me up cuz i have my own mustache pic. to post, as you will see ;)

Erin said...

Yes, Anonymous, I think you are probably the only one that found this post boring. However, I KNOW I'm not the only one that finds YOU boring.

We've all told you a million times how we feel about anonymous bullies that come to peoples' blogs to pass judgement and take cheap shots, but I guess you want to hear it again and again and again.

Ho hum. Snooze. zzzz