Awesome Moments in Moving: Part I (of I): finding long lost photos of yourself with mushroom hair, and
the boy who loved you even when you had mushroom hair. Please note how insanely cute Bryan was as a 12 year old boy, even if he was a good 3 inches shorter than I was. (I remember leaning down to kiss him.) Is it wrong that I think he is delicious in this photo? That I still want to lean down and kiss that boy? Or is it okay seeing as how we are married now and of legal age, on the other side of that summer before high school when he grew a good 10 inches in 2 months and surfed so often he had that wet suit rash around his neck that I thought was a ring of hickeys which made him seem dangerous and sexy and ohmygod, okay, yes, this is getting creepy?
Which reminds me--things I must teach Zoey by the time she reaches puberty:
- Do not ever bring in a photo of a Dutch supermodel to Supercuts and ask them to make you look like her. You will not look like her. You will not even look Dutch. In fact, you will not want to look in the mirror for at least three more years.
- Do not line the inside of your eyes with Wet 'n Wild aqua eyeliner. Or wear mood lipstick. Sure it may seem like a cool idea, green lipstick that turns pink or red depending on your mood, but take it from me: that shit turns a sick shade of mauve no matter your mood and doesn't come off no matter how hard you rub. Or kiss. Or practice kissing on the back of your hand. Mood = pathetic.
- Do not tuck the corners of your collar into your (in hindsight ironic) Yale sweatshirt. For that matter, don't wear the pointed collars out. Just to be safe, don't wear pointy collars or Yale sweatshirts together or separate. Ever. And if you think adding a purple rhinestone brooch to this ensemble makes you look mysterious like Prince? Well then I just cannot help you.
- When a boy asks you to slow dance to "Stairway to Heaven" make sure it is a boy you like as the song is 14 minutes long and you will feel his sad little boner poking you in the thigh because you are taller than he is and you will just have to shuffle around with your arms around his neck and pretend it's not happening for 14 very long minutes (with that fast little guitar riff in the middle of the song during which I still have no idea what one should do. Let go of each other and boogie down? Play air guitar? I always opted to keep shuffling, i.e. when you don't know what to do, do nothing). Yes, pokey little boners even happen to girls with hair in the shape of a mushroom.
- Give short boys a chance. They will grow and soon enough you won't feel like a fungish oaf when you make out with them. You will feel like a beautiful girl and then a beautiful woman, and maybe, if you are very, very lucky you will fall in love with the boy who is no longer short and you will feel like a beautiful wife and the beautiful mother of a beautiful girl with hair in the shape of a halo.
Which reminds me--things I must teach Zoey by the time she reaches puberty:
12 comments:
This made me laugh. Then it made me cry. I related to more of this post than you could imagine.
picture perfect :)
is that a cassette tape in his hand? if so, wonder which one...
that is so stinkin' cute.
and the stairway to heaven advice is oh so right. err um, if a boy had ever asked me to dance I would have had that experience. I only heard.
;/
sweet and funny, how do you manage that? must've been some residual benefit from the mushroom hairdo.
I love number five, especially since my husband grew five inches his first year in college and also since my son is a tiny, tiny guy who, I fear, will be crushed by bullies and mean girls.
And it is just so cute that you and Bryan have known each other so long. So cute. Very endearing.
I am such a sucker for childhood sweetheart stories. I love that you knew each other as children and had sweet little crushes way back then.
Oh! Sweetest story ever! You know, stories like yours are the kind I hold close to my heart. I live in an environment where highschool sweethearts measure high in divorce rates, and my family and some friends feel all to willing to share that information with me.
My boyfriend and I have been together for nine years; we began dating at 17. We aren't married, not engaged, we don't have children, and it took years for us to even live together. But our relationship is based on a strong friendship, a deep respect and lots of love for each other! Growing up while growing together is a very special and rare thing to be able to experience with your love, and how well your words highlighted this!
Your story drives home how I've felt about sharing this time with Ryan. Thanks for sharing. Now I'm even more inclined to stand up and be all like "hells YEAH we've been together for nine years, HELLS YEAH we are highschool sweethearts. Jealous?"
For the record, my 75 year old Nana calls me a "modern woman".
Okay.. I'm rambling. Anyway - love, love this story!
Thanks!
The fact that I remember you both during this time, makes it all the more sweet. White Hill school dances and Forenza sweaters with slouchy socks - now those were the days!
Oh how I can relate to Stairway to Heaven at Jr High Dances. Even after I kicked off my Famolares, I was way too tall. And the shortest boy always asked me to dance. I wonder what he looks like now.
Great picture!
Mom checking in from a galaxy far away....I LOVE, LOVE. LOVE this photo. I could just eat you both up with a spoon! And, just to register my vote on childhood sweethearts who "made it" such as you and Bry, I think it's amazingly special and I am ever so glad you two stuck! Now, your Dad and I could tell a story or a dozen about the ups and downs, on-off-on again break-ups, etc. over all these years. And, believe me, there were times when you were so down, eyes red and swollen from your 15th straight day of tears, us wanting to find Bry and beat him up because our Sus was hurting during another breakup. There were times when I wanted to wring your neck for allowing anyone to so drastically affect your entire well-being. I can also attest to the fact that, from as long ago as I can remember with you and Bry, you were always sure that he was the only love of your life. You never wanted anyone else. And now here you both are and here is Miss Zoey and we love Bry as you always did.
And, PF Readers, I just want to say that for years, I or some family member appointed to the position, had to check Sus's attire out before she left the house. This started during what we called her "little crazy girl apparel" period wherein she freely and so wrongly mixed plaids, prints, stripes with abandon...and, it just did not work. The photo in today's blog was long after this period so I can only think that we, her family, must have also thought the sweatshirt and tucked-in pointy collar tips were just fine. As to the hair-do, believe me, she had worse! Love you so much no matter the hairstyle, no matter the outfit (and amazingly, you are now such a fashion pro!) Mom
I didn't even notice Bryan is holding a tape, but you're right! I bet it's UB40. Or Howard Jones. The Thompson Twins? The sad thing is we probably still have that tape in a box in our garage. Bryan holds on to EVERYTHING (including his childhood sweethearts).
i love this story. i had a chance at my 12 year old love, 30 years later. turns out it wasn't meant to be. and i was more upset about that than the fact that i didn't love him enough to listen to the cure and write bad poetry about him. turns out jake ryan is only the ideal in junior high, for me at least.
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