Using The Force

Zoey had her first date on Friday. And by first date I mean the first time she got nudey in a plastic pool with a boy and then let him buy her a slice of cheese pizza. We still have some work to do on the order of things...

Here she is regaling her date Liam by coquettishly covering her nose with her fingertips while simultaneously trying to pick a booger and make a funny face. (That is totally how I seduced her father, by the way.)

Please note: the Dora fiesta frock, aka her lucky dress.

Later she watched Liam poop in the potty (which is totally how her father seduced me way back when). Even though Liam's mommy had to help him with the wiping, Zoey was still adequately charmed by his potty prowess and soon, she, too, wanted to impress with her mad bathroom skillz. After she went pee pee on the big girl toilet, Liam was chivalrous enough to give her a potty sticker. Unfortunately, Liam was plum out of ballerina princess fairy pink stickers, and opted instead to peel off the most girlie thing he could find in his Star Wars Sticker Book:

Sadly, Zoey refused to put the sticker on her fiesta dress, or even on the back of her hand. She looked at it and then at me like a teenage girl at prom whose date has gotten her a cheap carnation corsage. What the feck am I supposed to do with this? she seemed to be saying, and I, ever the couples counselor, told her to stick it to her sippy cup. Which is basically my advice to any couple for any problem. Ever. You're welcome.

And then it was the end of the evening, the part where Liam and Zoey awkwardly said their goodbyes in the parking lot while holding their mother's hands, because those are the rules when in a parking lot on a date: you hold your mother's hand. And the mothers--we said our goodbyes over their heads, secretly planning the wedding of our children, a wedding with a Star Wars Goes to the Ballet as a Pink Winged Fairy Princess Secret Jedi Warrior theme, the party favors delicate pastel jordan almonds gathered in tulle fastened with a miniature light saber and one very crafty Jedi mind trick the likes of which Martha Stewart has never seen.

Zoey and Liam: I dream that one day in a galaxy far, far (far!) away they will create their own babies, a super human race of ridiculously long-eyelashed people. If for nothing else then because I really like Liam's parents, but mainly because everyone deserves a partner who offers you a sticker when you go pee in the big girl potty.