Stranger Things (Have Happened)

I think I may have mentioned before that I don't really like people. And that's true to some degree. I don't like people in line. People in cars. I don't like people in crowds, people in Disney apparel, people doing the wave at sporting events. I don't like people wearing fanny packs and pleated pants, double breasted blazers, drunk people, loud people, sweaty people, the stupid, the greedy, people who are too serious, people who sit right smack dab in front of me in an otherwise empty movie theater. As a general rule suicide bombers pretty much suck. But mostly I don't like people in theory.

In reality, though, people are pretty awesome. People who hold the door. People who smile sincerely. People who stop you on the street to ask for directions, that vulnerable look in their eyes as if they are searching for soft cookie crumbs of strange kindness. I like my friends and my family, small people, old people. The hopeful. I like the woman who makes my drink at Starbucks every morning with her sharp nose and smart blue eyes, the way she tells me to have a nice day. I can tell that she means it. For the most part, I like people in reality.

And so it was with interest that I read of the guy who tied a disposable camera to a bench with a sign that read: "Good afternoon, I attached this camera to the bench so you could take pictures. Seriously. So have fun. I'll be back later this evening to pick it up. Love, Jay / The Plug." I mean, what a pure idea, right? It got me in that tiny slice of my heart that thinks people are A-ok. Aside from his moniker of The Plug, which, let's face it, sounds a bit unsavory, this is just a perfect social experiment.

Granted I am not the first blogger to post about this. I actually found out about it from Jessie at The Lucky Stone (great blog, btw. Go there now. No, wait, go there after you've read this. And maybe commented on it. Because I love your comments. Remember? I like people? Yeah, that means you, too. I like You.)

Anyhoo, I lay awake on Friday night thinking about conducting this experiment. It seemed so enticing, so cool, and yet something about it made me feel shy, as if the universe were sprinkling my bare skin with salt. I almost backed out at least a dozen times until finally with nothing else to do on Saturday morning Zoey and I went and bought the camera and some string. We decided to add a blank notebook and a pen to make it our own. Our sign read a little something like this: "Hi! I've attached this camera to the bench so you can take pictures. Seriously! So have fun! I'll be back late this afternoon to pick the camera up. Oh! And here's a notebook, too. In case you have anything to say. Have a great Saturday!" And we tied it to a bench right in the center of our small town and went home for a nap.

When we awoke, here is what we found:

Two amigos with hair and one without; slightly foggy morning.

Adorable dog with a very large head, complete with happy owner.

Friendly man waving goodbye to the fog.

Safety first.

Safety second, plus one possible taco.

I'm sorry, lady, for showing your nostrils, but the composition is divine.

Handsome man, possibly Dermot Mulroney.

Attitude with striking eyes, the male version of Zoey?

Sadly there was nothing written in the notebook except a short note thanking me for the camera fun.

Of course I am nothing if not a woman of (too many?) words so undeterred I took the notebook to an Art & Wine Festival the very next day and I tied it to a bench with a note that read: "I NEED ADVICE. Please write some advice in this notebook. I'll pick it up at the end of the day. Seriously. Have fun! Thank you." It is my belief that good advice should pertain no matter the situation. And then I strolled around in the sun with my friends looking at bad art and inhaling the wet hot scent of gyro and tannins for a few hours until we decided to go back to the park and spy on the notebook.

When we got back to the park we saw an older woman sitting on the bench next to the notebook and if anybody so much as paused to read the sign she'd say in a voice full of gravel and wine, "I'd tell that person to stop asking for advice!" And then she'd chuckle as if the bench were center stage at The Laugh Factory and she was the headliner. She sucked. I'm pretty sure I'd have flipped her off in traffic if she so much as crossed me in what is sure to be her Chevy Nova, that she had spent her entire adult life waiting in line somewhere while wearing a Donald Duck tank top and possibly a homemade bomb in her "check-me-out-I'm-an-asshole" fanny pack. (Remember! I love me some people!) I was with my friend Rosalie who is just now getting some hair back after completing chemo and we thought about grabbing the notebook from beside the crotchety Disney lady and tearfully telling her that Rosalie really needed advice, that she was dealing with breast cancer and her therapist suggested she seek out strangers for healing. But then we realized that while we could spend two, maybe even three hours shootin' the shit with Bezelbub we don't necessarily want to burn in the fiery depths of Hell for all of eternity so we opted to get some smoothies, instead.

And yet at the end of the day when I picked up the notebook it was full of pearls of wisdom. Inside I found:
--"Follow your heart, use your brain. You'll do fine and take care!"

--"All of the answers to your questions are within--be true to yourself. Good luck."

--"Follow your heart and don't listen to anyone else! Remember this!! But! If your parents were fucked up so are you! But! Don't give up, just do your best! If you do you might be okay. The fact that you are asking for help is promising. I am an LCSW." (Scary indictment of the profession?)

--"Stay present. Move forward. Acceptance is key."

--"Don't believe everything that you think or feel. Depression, anxiety and fear are all liars."

--"Find that thing that makes you fall in love with yourself. Remember what it was that you were drawn to as a child if you don't know what to do right now."

--"Seek regular counseling, a psychic, therapist, channeler, whatever."

--"I am not going to give any advice, only a suggestion. Forgive yourself!"

Hidden camera shot of people doling out advice.

At the end of the weekend I felt secure in my belief that people in general suck, especially when they have spent the afternoon in the sweaty sun drinking wine and feasting on fried festival food, but people in particular? They make me feel as if I am part of something larger, something warm and breathing, something undeniably beautiful, messy and real, every. single. time.