How to Rob a Bank, by My Brother

In my earliest memories of my brother he is wearing striped tube socks pulled high with corduroy OP shorts, his asthma inhaler pushed down into one sock making one skinny calf a freakish lump. He's wearing a Batman shirt, Spidey, Speed Racer. He is my super hero brother, 2 and a half years older, funny and smart and just always there. I used to wish for a sister, a twin would have been ideal, so those consecutive Halloweens around the age of 12 that he dressed as a girl gave me hope until that third year when he finally admitted to my parents that all he really wanted was to glimpse the inner sanctum of the girl's bathroom at school.

We didn't always get along. There was the time he made me lie down on the sidewalk while he stood over me ready to spit. A trust test, he said, and then he loogied in my eye.

My mom used to tell me I would be thankful for my brother, that as adults we would actually be friends. On a good day I wouldn't pay attention; on a bad day I would roll my eyes. But my brother is really the only reason I want to have another baby. Growing up my brother was my partner in crime, my nemesis, my go-to buddy on rainy days and at boring family gatherings. And yes, now he IS my friend. I want Zoey to have that same sense of family.

In August my brother is getting married so I have to save some of the schmaltz for my speech. But yesterday was his birthday so what I want to say is this: whether it be dressing in drag to view the inside of a 6th grade girl's bathroom or creating his own production house to direct commercials and music videos, my brother has always fearlessly gone after what he wanted. Well, I shouldn't really say fearlessly because for all I know he could've been sweating bullets in that dress at age 12. But what I do know is that he did it anyway. Like I said, he's a super hero.

My brother's latest venture is also his feature film directorial debut: How to Rob a Bank. The movie stars Gavin Rossdale, Nick Stahl and Erika Christensen, and my very own tube sock wearing brother both wrote it and directed it. It's a great flick and I couldn't be more proud. Click here to view the trailer, and then make a date on February 8th to go see it in theaters. Don't worry--I'll remind you the closer it gets.

And a last note directly to my brother: sorry to flog the whole pre-adolescent drag thing. But really, you LOOGIED IN MY EYE.