Government Cheese

It's Friday and I have jury duty.
--Wait--
*look to the left*
*look to the right*

Sshhhhh. I have been excused from my civic responsibility. But I haven't really told anyone. Instead I am taking the day off. So if you are reading this and you work with me, please keep it on the down low. You know who you are. Renata. Ann. Compadres.

*If you tell anybody I just might have to pee on your desk. If you don't tell anyone I will bring cupcakes to our next meeting.

*In reference to our offices getting broken into the other night. When the burglar couldn't make off with a laptop that had been locked to a desk, he peed on it. Or she. Although it's hard to imagine a woman gathering her skirt and crouching down on a desk to take a piss. Then again I guess a skirt is not a great fashion choice when burglaring. Burglarizing? Bulgarity? Now I've said the word burglar too many times in my head and it seems funny, wrong. And peeing on a computer seems funny but not so wrong. See now why I need this day off? Yeah, thanks.

Happy Friday!