Saturday, January 17, 2015

Take It To The Bridge

So I was thinking the other day which was probably today, I don't know, they are all running together, about when I go back to work and how people will know I've spent the better part of the last 6 months peeing in cups and discussing the relative opacity. I mean, unless the 2016 Pantone Color of the Year is Blood In Urine, it might be a little strange. Like maybe we're in a meeting having a heated discussion about how to market our newest product, and I'm insisting we would never say that, it's not in our brand voice, and in the back of your head you remember that one time I had to wear a diaper during chemo and you smirk. You smirk! I mean, I would totally smirk. 

Especially since I have calculated the amount of hair growth I hope to have by the time I'm back at work and divided that by the square root of the famous chemo curl and am pretty sure I will look a little like Justin Timberlake circa 1995. Here is my closest approximation:
There is no amount of headband or scarf that can make that right, right? How am I going to get through this? How are we going to get through this, you with your smirk and your memories?

Because this. This is also happening.
I am a goddamn warrior, and you don't know if I am smiling beneath that mask or crying, a modern day Mona Lisa with a drip line. And while I don't know at times either, I am okay with the answer being all of the above and more. I am smirking, laughing, crying, lonely and hopeful, and I am going to bring sexy back to the chemo curl when it happens, just you wait.



Allison C said...

You with JT's hair = awesome. You will be super sexy, no doubt.

I don't know if you've ever read The Mom Edit blog (previously Ain't No Mom Jeans), but Shana had chemo last year and her hair looks fantastic! Check it out.

Keep on rocking it!

Anonymous said...

Not sure how long it took you to photoshop your face on JT's head, but it was worth every minute. You may lose your hair, but don't lose your sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe it: here you're going through hell and back and still look radiant. Your hair looks freshly coiffed too!
Since you mentioned the pee cup, this reminds me of a joke.
3 old ladies get together for a coffee klatsch. One of them says: "For the first time in my life, I've seen a porn movie and by gully they licked where we pee".

The other one asked: "Did they lick the seat or the bowl?"