Thursday, April 10, 2014

I'm Ok

When we last left off I was feeling rather sorry for myself, so I thought I'd take a quick moment to update you on what I've been doing to make myself feel better.

First off, there's this: my new spirit animal.
This is V.C. Andrews, and if you don't know who that is then you can't sit at this table. And yes, I'm mixing Mean Girls metaphors with Flowers in the Attic, so? So.

So. Me and a few of my favorite people at work have started The No Shame Book Club, and right now we are doing a close reading of the tome Petals on the Wind (in preparation for the Lifetime Original Film of the self-same name debuting at the end of May). This is in stark contrast to my other Legit Book Club Made Up Of Moms From Zoey's School in which we are now reading the biography of the first Hispanic Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor, and when I say "we" are reading it I mean "I" am totally not reading it and will probably just go to the next meeting for the fine selection of cheese and gossip. But back to Petals on the Wind.

Of course I read all of these books when I was in the 7th grade (My Sweet Audrina being my fave), but it's different to read as an adult slash as someone who has actually french kissed a boy. Here is but a sampling: "How beautiful your breasts are," he said with a low sigh, leaning to nuzzle them. "I remember when you began to grow. You were so shy about them, always wanting to wear loose sweaters so I couldn't see. Why were you ashamed?" BECAUSE YOU'RE HER BROTHER, YOU SICK FUCK. p.s. Happy National Siblings Day, Christopher.

So there's that. V.C. Andrews has been making me feel better, as in I am not locked up in an attic and my head is not too large for my body, nor am I in the 7th grade anymore, thank god. So there is that.

Then there is Nurse Jackie. Please tell me someone watches Nurse Jackie. BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN ON TV, the end. (Yes, even better than Breaking Bad because I actually really care about the characters.) Bryan and I have been binging together every night, only I have the sinking suspicion that I am more into it than he is, kind of like a bad relationship when one person is more into it than the other. Just recently we had to break up our Game of Thrones relationship because I couldn't bring myself to care about the dragons anymore. So now he just watches that alone while I read V.C. Andrews, i.e. we are so hot right now.

Also? Cadbury Mini Eggs are keeping me together. And red bell peppers (I eat them like an apple). Melatonin, yum. I am loving these cheap camo pants paired with Converse and have been listening to a lot of The Beatles and Led Zeppelin on Pandora. I think I have finally learned how to style my bangs.

I am ok, everyone. Things still suck, but I am ok.


SH said...

Nurse Jackie? Cadbury Cream Eggs? Flowers in the Attic? Sounds like a perfect weekend to me.

I just binged on Nurse Jackie (and if I'm honest, Cadbury Cream Eggs) a few weeks ago. Can't get enough of them. Wait until you see the final episode...genius!

Jules said...

Oh! A bunch of my friends recently re-read Flowers because of the movie and "OMG it was my favorite in 7th grade!!!!!" I never read the books--my parents wouldn't let me, dammit--and I'm not going to now because I think the awesomeness would be lost on me as a 41 year old mom who now works with kids that age. Also, all my friends who re-read the books had your same WTF reaction. hah!!

Michelle M in KY said...

So glad to hear that you are ok, even if you're not. Keep reading on!

kerwin said...

Dude. FitA. My parents wouldn't let me read them, but they would let me stay at a library for two hours every day after school (so studious!), so I would hide whatever VC Andrews book I was reading in the lawn maintenance section and binge read after school. I don't know how I feel about this resurgence of popularity. I will say that perhaps my parents were right on that one. Though Bridge to Tarabithia scarred me way deeper than Flowers.

Mini Eggs. FFS, what is in those things? I think the candy shells have to be laced with herion

kerwin said...

And heroin was misspelled but my phone jammed. Or something like that.

Anonymous said...

I got together with a bunch of girlfriends to watch Flowers in the Attic on Lifetime and actually left because watching it made me feel too icky inside. Plus I was paying for a babysitter and it just didn't seem worth four hours and $45. (That didn't stop me from going home and reading the complete synopses of VC Andrews' entire ouvre on Wikipedia. I never read any of them. That's some fabulously sick stuff.) I'm glad trashy novels and delicious, delicious chocolate are there in times of "fuck this entire fucking year," which it looks like you're having. I'm so sorry.
Old neighbor Kirsten