Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Look Me in the Eye. No, This One, Over Here.

Recently I read somewhere, i.e. it must be true, that when a person cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye it's happiness, but when the tear comes from the left eye first, it's pain. (Of course this begets all sorts of questions such as what if someone only has one eye to begin with? Or a terrible tic? And does a teardrop tattoo on the right cheekbone mean that a person killed someone while laughing?)Right about now is when you expect me to tie this into something bigger. Meaningful, maybe, and I get it. But so what? There is something awfully sour living at the bottom of my trash can, a big spider trapped beneath a glass on the counter that we have all been too creeped out to move for days now. Last night Bryan did the dishes and then turned to me, hands still wet and said, so you want to do it? Sometimes I am so stupidly happy, batting at air, other times I feel heavy and sad. And then there are the times when Zoey first wakes up, confused. Dates, she says, or rabbits! Mart me why can you see corns? Zoey, I whisper, my face close to hers, are you still asleep? These might be my favorite times, the space between good dream and bad, happy, soft, angry and hopeful, when it's okay not to make sense, living like something you forgot or one day will. A few years ago an ophthalmologist told me I had a slightly lazy eye. For which I gave him the stink eye and forever after tried very hard to focus when having my picture taken.

I know. (Stop looking at me like that.)

I just might punch myself in the face and see if it's true, although if the tears start from the right eye it may just mean I'm happiest when in pain.

8 comments:

shannon said...

Please never stop blogging.

the girL said...

you have this uncanny ability to make me laugh while bringing a tear from my left eye

Acanthus and Acorn said...

Ditto what Shannon said!!!

bronwyn said...

I really love coming here. Third - never stop.

krista said...

i will now be focused solely on figuring out which eye i cry out of first at any given time.

Kacey said...

I love how your writing make me have to think.

Kwana said...

You are something else. In the best way. I totally followed you here and I know the next time I start crying I'll stop and think.

Judy said...

Sus, do you remember the small, cut-crystal, sterling filagreed screw-on cap, amulet type antique container I have had forever? It is, supposedly, a receptacle for tears. I always thought it was Victorian in it's era but some years ago I did some research. I found that there is a philosphy/religion called "Lachrymatory" which is a study of crying. The earliest mention of receptacles for tears was from Ancient Rome where tears from mourners were collected into receptacles and, among other uses, a small vial of the mourners' tears were buried with the deceased. I don't know from where the vial I have originated but, for sure, not Ancient Rome! I also think that there is an occult interest in Lachrymology but I don't know much about that. I do know that the prog-metal band,"Tool" was closely tied to Lachrymatory practices. I have no idea what tears mean what and from what eye as I haven't been involved in the practice myself. I just thought the concept was cool and even collected some tears in my vial. There is also some connection to tears having some sort of powers as the tears from the Eye of Houras (the big single eye in a triangle emblem) was to have shed tears that were honey-like in nature and had healing powers and such.
Do you need any old miscellaneous tears? I've got some if they haven't evaporated. Can't swear to the eye or emotional origin of said tears if they still remain in my "Lachrymist". And your eye isn't lazy. You only had some tear gland (Lachrymal) problems causing "dry eye".
Weighing in on almost any topic...as always with all my love (and tears),
Mom