Her: Hey! How are you?
Me (not wanting to be rude): Um, fine? How are you?
Her: What are you doing?
Me (mystified, too nervous to pee): Uh, you know, just going to the bathroom! Ha!
Her: Hold on a second, there's some chick in the other stall trying to talk to me.
Me: (_*_)
After work I met Richele and her friend Khobe which would not be noteworthy were it not for the fact that I had never met them IRL and the fact that I just used that acronym attests to the potential for oh no. Of course when they got in my car the radio was playing that Nirvana song "Rape Me" all tormented dark and there was maybe a moment of awkward, but then it was gone and I have to tell you: imaginary friends are even better in person. Richele is all kinds of my-type-of-friend and I really liked Khobe and if they were to ever send me flowers I would totally hang them upside down on my wall to dry out all crisp and dusty next to my Duran Duran poster, i.e. maybe for Memorial Day I should send them a candy gram. Also, I think I forgot to thank them for the pizza. Thank you. Next time the garlic is on me.
So then we went to Paxton Gate because I take all my friends to buy glass eyes, and there I bought a blowfish for $9. Score! Here he is relaxing on a leather chair. I fancy him the distinguished sort, though he tells me he gave up tobacco for fear of oral cancer.
Here he is up close. Jerome, Ken, Issac? He needs a name. For a second I considered calling him Rich in honor of my blind date with Richele, but I figure nobody wants to lend their name to a pufferfish, plus Richard is Bryan's middle name.
I also considered calling him Shannon because--let me tell you about Shannon! As we were leaving 826 Valencia, a woman came out calling my name. Are you Susannah? she said. I feel so silly but I thought I recognized you. I read your blog, and right then I almost hugged her tight, paperbagged pufferfish and all, because yesterday? That post I wrote? Well it was as if she knew I needed some recognition, and yes, I see what's going on here with the blowfish and my head getting bigger, but lalalalala, I can't hear you Universe!So thank you Shannon. Thank you Richele, thank you Khobe, and nice to meet you girl in the stall next to me. Now, does anyone have any suggestions on a name for my blowfish? Conrad? Tommy? Les?
Happy Hump Day,
S
23 comments:
spike
YOU GOT RECOGNIZED IN THE STREET?
Hah, I don't know if I'd be ultra stoked or ultra frightened. Once in a while people recognize me from my job and I'm all...aaagh about it.
But the blog? That's like, my feelings and insecurities and horrible jokes...a whole 'nother can of worms.
P.s. that story about the bathroom talking totally cracked me up. I can see myself doing that.
that is so awesome! (that you were recognized) and that pufferfish on the chair made my day. and who knew that is what their "faces" looked like? happy cinco de mayo, yourself.
Wow..The universe was responding. You sound lighter and your post was awesome.
I'm jealous that you got to see Richele! She's so great. It sounds like you had a great day.
When i was really young my family went to Cabo. While we were on the beach two divers came out of the water with a blowfish, all puffed up. Apparently I cried and shamed them until they put it back. Now I wonder if it wasn't already dead.
How cool is it that you were recognized? And that pufferfish is quite up there on the scale of awesome. It reminds me of the shark's jaw and T-Rex model I have been eyeballing for the living room.
I can't believe I just wrote that sentence.
Such a fun day! I'll be sure to send you red roses and babies breath so you can cherish the moment forever.
and the puffer? call him Rich or Richie because then I'll never be forgotten I'll lend my name to the cause
thanks for the fun!
i would totally scream your name on the street. true story.
ok Susannah - after reading up on your blog, I COMPLETELY understand how someone would recognize you on the street and say hello and want be your friend. that was an INCREDIBLE moment!
you are fabulous.
your little blogging corner-of-the-world is fabulous.
I am so glad to have met you, IRL.
xo - khobe
OMG! I love your blog (as usual, I'm late to the party from yesterday-shit, I missed ONE F'ing day, and you needed a hug- DAMN girl I need one too, my blog sucks lately, but I keep reading yours...)
YOU GOT RECOGNIZED! was it the blowfish? Or your awesome eyebrows?
Seriously, did you pee? (not in the stall, as in , your pants?)
Henry has a book called "Fish Face" and it is all big color photos of the faces of fish - really wierd. Your blowfish has nothing on them. Next time you are here we'll go through the book and name them all.
How FANTASTIC to have the Shannon moment, just when you needed it.
Glad you met Richie in person. Both of you so talented and beautiful.
Wilde
i read "Paxton Gate" as "Passion Gate," which means one of two things:
a) I need to get me some
b) I just came up with a great name for the Tiger Woods sex addiction controversy
Also how about Sean Puffy Blows for the blowfish name? Later, you could rename it P. Puffy.
How about Simon?
Name your fish Puffinia Face
So, the chick in the bathroom stall. She was on the phone right? I know, asking shows that I have hard time following along...or maybe it's just late at night. But, I'm right, right?
Okay, so that chick was on her cell in the restroom, right? Man, I HATE it when people do that. Like I'm not paranoid enough already that I might accidentally fart – someone has to add her boyfriend or her grandma into the mix? RUDE.
I suppose Hootie is way too obvious of a choice? I loved @San Diego Momma’s idea of Sean Puffy Blows / P. Puffy. Hilarious.
I would totally recognize you in real life and be too timid to say anything and then miss my opportunity and then kick myself.
xo
the bathroom story is hysterical. why would you (not you--her) talk to anyone on the phone while on the toilet??! Unless of course you're about to deliver your baby and are calling 911...acceptable.
Love it! Your blog amuses me and offers a great distraction while at work.
I hope this inspires Shannon to update her own blog regularly. Yea that's right. I'm calling her out on her lack of updating.
I think Randy should be his name,he looks like a Randy,like when he was back in the ocean he was all"Hey ladies,how you doin?."Definitely the the ladies man of blowfishes.
And also Randy in tribute to how I found your blog.You see I was watching one of my fav 80's nostalgia movies"Little Darlings"one day and that movie brought back all those warm feelings I use to have of wanting to be with a sexy,dumb,hot guy like"Randy".Than that made me think of how cute I use to think Matt Damon was so I preceded to goggle him and initially found old Matt Damon,which is definitely not the same a young hot Damon.So than I started to look for young,hot Matt Damons and that led me to this page:
http://petuniafacedgirl.blogspot.com/2008/05/on-boys-and-beards-but-no-bearded-men.html
And the rest was history...I read,I was hooked,I was mesmerized,I just couldnt stop!I was thinking who is this amazing writer and what took me so long to find her blog?And why doesnt everyone know about her?And who cares because I found her and I dont care as long as she keeps writing so I can keep reading.
Honestly,even on the days that you write that you cant think of anything to write about,I am still held captive by your brutal and refreshing honesty and openess to share so much of yourself and your world.
So please dont give up,you are making so many people out there happy(and even if its just me its still worth it)and we would be lost without our Petunia Face.
Oh and on days that you dont feel like writing just come on a post this,., a single dot,and we will know and understand.K
I think you should name him H.R.
Yours truly,
Wilhelmina W. Witchiepoo
Paxton Gate is my favorite store in the entire world. I don't live in SF so I've only ever been there a handful of times but I love it!
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