Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Blog Out Loud>> (Don't Mind If I Do)

"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud."
~Emile Zola

Once upon a time I worked in a cubicle. Then I got an office which basically meant my cubicle had a ceiling and a door that was expected to stay open at all times as the company had an open door policy (in name and literal laminate door only). I went to work. I worked. I came home from work. Lather, rinse, repeat for seven years. My business card touted my title, had my name on it, a logo. I was me but notme all at the very same time. I became good at Excel spreadsheets.

Once upon a time a little after that I used a label maker to print out my very favorite poem and I pasted it across the bottom of my computer just so. What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun, or does it get printed out on a P-Touch and stuck to the side of a company-owned pc, years later its edges slightly brown with whatever suck floats there in recycled office air?

Once upon a time that now seems as if it happened in a galaxy far, far away I started this blog, notme writing that poem that is notmine, blogging to reclaim what was. I started there with a dream deferred hoping that if I just opened my mouth something authentic would come out. Because along with the poem by Langston Hughes, that quote by Emile Zola is my favorite and I think of it often, a mantra for me to write. Of course Zola ultimately died of carbon monoxide poisoning caused by a stopped up chimney, his own ceiling, his own exhale. Some believe it was intentional, a political move, that he was murdered, J'accuse and all that, though it could never be proven.

Oh, I am not saying I am worthy of a chimney plugged. I am not pushing the political liberalization of France or anything heady like that; I'm not pushing anything really. But that ceiling I was talking about? It sure felt low at the time.

For Zola, his "fiery protest was simply the cry of his very soul," and I know just what he means. Without the politics,of course, the enlightenment, without justice or the threat of death, without accents à grave even, my own protest lukewarm, a simple hey you of my very soul. Which is why I began to blog.

It is fitting then, and oh so very exciting, that now, almost two years and two weeks to the day that I started this blog from that cubicle with the acoutistical tiled ceiling, I have been invited to speak on a panel called Blog Out Loud. Created by Megan Arquette and Rebecca Orlov, Blog Out Loud is a networking resource for creative people, its sole purpose to help people with their own blogs to enhance their business, create an online presence, or simply to connect to community. Along with some fantastic other bloggers, I have been asked to sit on the panel for their second event which takes place Sunday, August 23rd from 5 to 7pm at Bell Jar in San Francisco. Repondez, s'il vous plait here. If you live in the Bay Area, please do come by. I would love to see you, meet you, hear your questions even if I have to make up the answers. (I'm good like that. E=MC2 the energy of me times the speed of light, yes, I am pretty sure of it. See? I have something to say even if I am not always right.) And if that doesn't get you, I hear there are going to be some bitchin' goodie bags.

Hope to see you there, and thank you, as always, for listening.



Erin said...

How cool, S! I would love to come support you if I can work it out. I'll talk to you more about it when I see you today!

Darcy said...

I love this post! I completely empathize with your living-in-an-office-suffocating-your-dreams part of your existence. I had that too and felt like it was just a slow march till death! when it was all over, thanks to the economy (seriously thank you) i was very happy to find a nice and happy dreamy me beneath the black slacks and button-downs.
Congrats on your BOL post!

Richie Designs said...

yeah!!! wish I was going to be in the audience this time.

Kwana said...

Wonderful post. I often ask myself what happens to a dream differed? It's what spurs me to keep writing and sending out more queries with every new rejection.

Congrats on Blog Out Loud. I know you will be fab! Have fun. Wish I could be there.

ModernMommaBlog said...

What an honor to be invited to participate in Blog Out Loud. I so wish I lived in the area so I could meet and talk with you in person. I'm a new blogger - 4 months old - and your site was such an inspiration for me to start my own. Good luck with the event and I look forward to reading all about it!

nicole said...

yay you!!! i hope you have a great time and meet lots of future employers ;)

loving. living. small. said...

so happy you are on the panel for our 2nd event! looking forward to it! xo, rebecca

C.L. said...

Ah, isn't affirmation great? You deserve this. In the midst of my crazy days, your writing about your days makes me smile. This is who you are, which is way cooler than ANY office job!
(I was just in the Bay area for the first time and wish I could've postponed it till the dates of this conference.)

krista said...

blast! why aren't you doing this in la?

Maggie May said...

i wish! you rock em.

beachbungalow8 said...

WE are so honored to have one of the best bloggers out there to grace our panel. Thank you Susannah!


Michelle in KY said...

CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS! You're a rock star! Why wouldn't they ask you to be on the rock! You have perspective, timing, a comedic stance, and complete wit about you. All the while being a loving Mommy and dear Wife. You deserve this and I hope this opportunity will open NEW doors for you...doors that also remain open for a long time.
xoxo my friend!

Petunia Face said...

Thanks guys. Now RSVP!
Krista--the first panel was in LA, but I am sure they will do one there again as the founders are both there. :)

Jessie said...

I wish I could GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Perhaps someday. :)

Best of luck, and I can't wait to hear how it goes down. MWAH!

The Lil Bee said...

Oh my gosh, I don't know how I missed this before but congratulations, Sus! That is so exciting. I wish I lived out there so I could come support you. And throw out really hard questions and stuff like that. But I will see you next year in NYC anyway, RIGHT?! xx

LuLu and Moxley's Mom said...

Totally relate to the office life stuff. I'm hoping that's behind me forever.

Would love to come to the panel but alas I am in Chicago. Good luck.

mosey along said...

Congratulations! Sure do wish I could come to this... we're heading out for one last pre-kindergarten (ulp) camping weekend and will miss it. I love the phrase "dream deferred", and the poem too, and have realized how much I've deferred over the years for various reasons. Inspiration.