Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Dear Reader

This photo has nothing to do with everything.

Quick! Bryan is working from home this morning, hogging the computer. He's in the--ahem--bathroom right now so I have a minute (make that 15 minutes) to write something--anything! I had an entirely different post drafted for today but it keeps crashing my computer so I have to believe the government is following this blog and doesn't want me to say what I was going to say and yes I know this is a run-on sentence but hopefully you get the urgency. The heretofor lost Petunia Face post may or may not have had something to do with butts and Easter hats. Don't ask too many questions!
So instead I am here to be safe and boring and to ask your advice. Really--blah, but can you help? Here's the thing: I have an interview tomorrow. A third interview. And everyone knows what happens on a third interview. You have sex with them. So I need to know: they've already told me their office hours are from 8am until 6pm, sometimes later. And because of Zoey's daycare hours I can only work 9 to 5. I mean, whatever happened to 9 to 5 anyway? Why is that slacking??? What happened to the American dream, Jane Fonda, Dolly Parton, Lily Tomlin, and a little rat poison? How do I word it so I get the job? Personally, I think if you can't get your job done in the hours from 9 to 5 then you're doing something wrong. Inefficient assholery. But maybe that's not the best way to phrase said situation. Any advice? Aside from putting out? I mean, I'm going to do that regardless.
Crikey! I hear the toilet flushing! Thanks in advance, and, as always, Happy Hump Day!


Jen said...

I would wait until you are offered the job, and then say that your only hesitation are the hours. I did that with my current job and apparently they wanted me bad enough where it didn't matter.

Good luck!

Arlynn said...

3rd interview... big news. Congrats : ) Now back to real life, or that time when you're not at work. I can barely remember. Whatevs, I digress.

You're in a bit of a sticky pickle, what with ONLY being able to work 9-5, I mean you're SO right - what about 9-5? They even made a movie about it. Dolly Parton sings a song about it, and yet, no one works it. I'm a lucky 8-5'er.

Would they let you work their more "extended" hours on your mobile device (you could still take care of your responsibilities through a Blackberry/iPhone)?

Or work flex hours - say 7-5, and the Hubs could take Zoe to pre-K? I know, not a great solution, but the best I can do.

Good luck! Can't wait to hear the good news : - )

~ Arlynn from Fleur De Licious

ohnomyboots said...

You may need to bargain, mention how you're accustomed to, or willing to have "working lunches". Perhaps negotiate one or two days a week where you're 9-7. Not that I agree with either of these things, I think it's disgusting, but I'm unemployed like you (only with no husband, less money, and almost as gorgeous eye brows) and share your desperation. As far as the wording, I'm a logistics girl, not so much a spin doctor. I'm looking forward to hearing what the more diplomatically-gifted of us have to say.

Oh Brother! said...

The name of the game is "mind fvck."

Make them leave that interviewing WANTING you to take that job... meaning: "I want, I want, I want," insert Herzog here.

So, here's what you do:

Switch the interview.

Go in strong.

Start asking THEM questions...

"So tell me, what is it about this company that would really compel ME to work here?"

"What qualities best describe your company... and how is that good for ME?"

"Do you pay big bonuses or what?" (Ok, maybe not that one... maybe a bit too early and forward)

You catch my drift.

Go strong. Offense (not offensive).

Oh yeah, this'll work! :)



krista said...

what the hell? 8-6. maybe later?
that blows.
in these situations, i always wonder what the exact right thing to say would be. maybe it's because i write, but i have always held onto the idea that the perfect words exist to make every situation right...if only i could pull them out of the air, in order.
that being said, i say wait until they offer you the job and then bring up your concern with the hours along with some solutions.
i don't know what those solutions would be, however.
this might be something they are unwilling to budge on and perhaps it's a deal breaker for them. i think that would be better to know now rather than try to fit a square into a round hole.
ew. i just used a boring and generic cliche. it has a stinky aftertaste.
and used poor sentence structure.
i have a huge sty in my right eye and i'm blaming everything on that.

Oh Brother! said...


Don't get the job. Nope.

Here's the scheme... write a book:

"The embarrassment of boners & other job interview foibles."

Go to as MANY interviews as you can and each time take a different tact like the other one I described.

Then write a short on each "experience."

Remember the "Are you ethically empty" interview? Good one.

Now go for the "Reverse Intereview."

Then maybe you go for the "Food stuck in your teeth" interview.

... You get the idea.

Yeah, write it, sista!



Richie Designs said...

yah, only mention it when they make the offer.

that you would be happy to work via mobile/ laptop on the hours you can't physically be there. I suspect they will be a bit cranky about it.

8-6? what are they doing to their employees that they demand this? legally can they do that.

I mean sometimes offices demand more work at certain points in the year's work. that's a 10 hr day - do they pay overtime?

Ana said...

I say you pull a Gwen. Full on.
It worked for her...twice!
Confidence my friend, confidence!

Oh, and yeah, it might require some work from home, but hey, who doesn't do that nowadays anyways...

Allison said...

I second Jen and would wait til you actually have an offer, it makes it into a negotiation rather than something to use against you in making a decision.

If they specifically ask you if you are willing to work those hours in the interview you might have to discuss but I wouldn't bring it up on my own until I had at least a verbal offer.

Good luck!

Jenn said...

I'm with Jen on this one - When I start a new job, I never tell them about the contingencies until I've been extended the offer. That way they've already got their tastebuds set for me being in the position. Plus, they've probably already told the other jerks they didn't get the job, so they hate having to dig that back up. Definitely wait until you have the offer, then drop the bomb. At least then they'll love you before they hate you.

Anonymous said...

Jen is right. Say nothing until they offer you the job. Otherwise they will just move on to one of the other 400 candidates.

Meghan M said...

As a hiring manager, here is my best advice.... don't make it all about you.
Try: "How do your employees with children manage their drop-off/pick-up schedules with their work hours?"
Do NOT launch into "See, I have this daughter and she goes to day care and me, me, me, my problems...."
Chances are there are people there with children with similar situations. The manager's main concern is treating everyone equally to avoid lawsuits. Find out what their policy is.
And if no one else has children there, chances are that you being a mommy will eventually be a struggle there in general.
You can pound this out on your third interview, but Jen's advice to wait for the offer is also sound.

Vanessa said...

I agree. I say wait until you get the offer, then try to work out the 7-5 option. Good luck, I know you'll get it!

Anonymous said...

DEFINITELY wait until you're offered - that's when you would negotiate salary and benefits, right? So hours are part of that package, IMHO. If you try to change it up front, you might end up not getting offered the job...

amy b.s. said...

i agree with jen. make them want you first and then they'll be more willing to meet your needs. if they believe you're the best person for the job, then they'll do whatever it takes to get you on board. just wow them and go from there. good luck!

Erin said...

I agree with Jen. "My only hesitation is the hours." That sounds good... after you have received the offer.
Oh, and, when I left you today I totally forgot to say good luck, so, "Good luck!"

Robin said...

"Inefficient assholery" effing awesome. Just sleep with them, you will be fine.

Bird* said...

I say you bring a condom and an extra pair of panties. hit the sack.

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

No advice, but thank you for a much needed laugh...snapped me out of my funk. Good luck!!! I'm making a little wish upon my favorite star for you tonight.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the 3rd interview : )
The advice so far has been really great.
As a mom, I cannot believe those hours. Call me crazy.
I know employers need to have their employees work longer days, be more creative, increase margins and so on in this economy, but hell!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the 3rd interview : )
The advice so far has been really great.
As a mom, I cannot believe those hours. Call me crazy.
I know employers need to have their employees work longer days, be more creative, increase margins and so on in this economy, but hell!

Lolo said...

Bird is doing it wrong if she's bringing an extra pair of panties. NO panties gets the job.

Oh, and what Jen said and what then what Meghan said.

If all else fails then it's time for a beejer.

Crossing my fingers and everything else.

Petunia Face said...

Great advice everyone--thank you! I'm not sure I even want this job (which is why you just know I will get it). Hm. Ho. Hum. Update to come.


ohnomyboots said...

your brother is awesome and right.

ohnomyboots said...

that book is perfect for right now-pleeease write that book. Of course, having it published may damage or negate your chances of ever scoring another interview- but it won't matter because you'll go on to continue writing books. A worthy bridge burning.

Anonymous said...

good luck susannah! but remember that the book idea is better than working 8 to 6 (wtf?) if you guys can afford it! xo nina