Quasizozo

That's it, I am putting my daughter on Proactiv. Accutane if that doesn't work. Because for the last few days she's had this horrible rash all over her face, arms and legs. Raised angry welts--she looks like Quasimodo, the teenage years. I am sure this is fine parenting-- I mean, I once heard that Britney Spears whitened Sean Preston and Evinrude's teeth, or whatever that youngest kid is named.

But seriously, we just got back from the pediatrician who said Zoey has a bad case of viral hives, implying there is such a thing as a good case of viral hives. Gah. He armed us with Aveeno Anti-Itch cream and sent us on our way, which seems to me like telling a cancer patient to take two aspirins and not call him in the morning, but what do I know? Apparently not much, but I do know this: we simply cannot be cooped up in this house on a sunny January day any longer. This afternoon I am going to spackle Zoey's hives with some Mac tranny foundation and take her to the park, much to the hairy stink eye of other mother's everywhere. Today, my little noble savage and I are going out in the big bad world to ring some bells.

But for you, I give you this--a dancing EsmeraldaZo in happier times, i.e. last Friday night: