Caveat Emptor (And I Have the Battle Wounds to Prove It)

I spent last night in bed with a hot body, thrashing wildly in the sheets. Which of course is not what it could be given that the hot body in question was my feverish toddler who forbids me to ever cut her nails. Suffice it to say I did not sleep. I have decided that this is something her father and I will tell prospective suitors when our daughter is a teenager: sleeping with Zoey is much like going to bed with a hot sweaty fish that sports inch long toenails. And then I will show them this video and say sure, she's cute, but she also eats her boogers.