I have a Geographic Tongue. Which I didn't know about until quite recently when my dentist mentioned it offhandedly as she was cleaning my teeth. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a Geographic Tongue?" Which made me feel slutty with the light shining down into my mouth like that, my tongue apparently one that gets around.
(I guess I always thought the patches on my tongue were an indication of an extremely rare oral cancer that was going to kill me, one of those things that I keep silent about because it is all eventual anyway, how I am ashamed of my own embarrassing mortality. As it turns out, my tongue is not going to kill me. It is just a harmless condition of unknown origin that affects 1% to 3% of the population, patches on my tongue that change shape like a map of political unrest.)
At my new job there are screens at the elevator banks with a running slideshow of employees: a photo, title, plus a fun fact. Wendy in Marketing bartends on the weekends! Shauna likes to hang out with her dogs. Deborah is a karaoke nut. Mike in IT has died twice!
I very much want to hang out with Mike.
Thinking of a fun fact about yourself is kind of like when it's your birthday and people ask you what you want. I don't know. A gift certificate for a massage? I prefer sweet over salty. I love me some Real Housewives. I have met Sting. Once I swallowed a weeble wobble whole. What is a fun fact about myself? The perfect balance between telling and benign, something that says now this coworker is a real hoot, but not so interesting as to suck the energy out of a room. Once I thought I had MS for 15 years but they said it was all in my head because my step-dad (no blood relation!) had MS, then he died a terrible death right after my mom died her own terrible death and not two months later I was diagnosed with MS. But wait! There's more! I researched a cure and went to Israel to have a stem cell transplant to kill my immune system and now I hopefully, probably, most certainly don't have MS anymore.
Hi Mike in IT!
Or maybe I just like bananas a whole lot, insalate caprese, when I was born I was named Amanda but my parents changed it when they realized people would call me and my brother Andy and Mandy; I have one vaguely lazy eye.
My tongue is a map constantly changing.