Monday, August 3, 2015

Check Out My New Hair Don't

This is for those of you who say, oh, but it must be easier! Right? Short hair. Just wash and go! Except this is how it looks when I wake up in the morning. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Straight up Don King. So no, it's not easier, or even easy. It's fuzzy and weird, curly thick and downright lofty. Which means my sink is littered with pomades and creams, pastes, and god I hate the word paste. (Product is not much better.) So when you see me looking like this, kind of awkward and wrestled, patted down and pulled, know that this is the best I can do and please don't look at me too long.
Seriously. Look away. A great big nasally meh

I thought maybe I might be ready for hair accessories, the very thought of which filled me with exclamation points and the hope of a thousand Lisa Frank stickers! Except this:
I don't know but something about it feels very Ethel Mertz, and I do not aspire to being anyone's neighbor. Maybe it's the polka dots? Maybe women over 40 should stay far away from polka dots? *sigh* So I tried another headband/scarf thingie, only...
...only there's not enough there there. Enough hair or 'do or even don't. I just kind of look like I forgot that there is a something on my head because clearly it is not serving an actual purpose.

Oh, I also tried bobby pins, barrettes, both of which were too sad to photograph, plus a metal leaf headband that would look absolutely darling on Michelle Williams. But.

It's kind of my fault. I was talking to my friend who said I just need a hair stylist to partner with, to help me grow it out gracefully and teach me how to deal in the meantime. The problem is I've always been a total hoary slut when it comes to my hair. Never seeing the same stylist twice, going wherever Groupon takes me, trimming my own bangs, Supercuts because sometimes you just need a little, you know? And now here I am needing a real relationship with someone who knows me, my hair, and I got nothing.

Nothing but a big bush. And you. Anyone have any ideas? Tips? I mean, I don't even know if I should get haircuts to clean up the back and the sides, try to maintain a short cut until some mystery switch is ready to be flipped to go long, or do I just go full bush from the get go, close my eyes and think of England?

Please send help. Especially if his name is Chaz Dean.
xo,
S

17 comments:

kate pelc said...

I dunno. You are stunning and that hair looks amazing on you. It's not long, so what? Long is, honestly, boring.
Short hair gives you the edge. Brings back your amazing high cheekbones and makes your eyes POP.
"Women with short hair always look as if they have somewhere else to go"
http://www.paulwhkan.com/pq/shorthair.html
Not every woman is cool and brave enough to rock short hair. You are doing it so well.

Anonymous said...

Wayatalkinbout?! You look AMAZING, Susannah. (Short hair-rocking emotiji )

Anonymous said...

I didn't just say "wayatalkinbout" did I ? God, I'm such a weirdo

Honey Anastasia said...

OK, so I'm totally diggin the short, wild, unkempt hair!! I think you look fan-freaking-tastic. Wear it proudly! You're a survivor!

Petunia Face said...

Aw, I love you all. Let's braid each others' hair. Or whatever we have of it, no matter. The love is there:)

Mr. X said...


I can't read "big bush" and "full bush," without thinking of this...

http://gothamist.com/2014/01/16/american_apparel_mannequin.php

Sorry, but it's really not my fault. I was raised in the 70s.

Anyway, in my opinion, photo #1 is a winner. You have the looks and the moxie for short hair.

Or, you could always call Donald Trump's "stylist" for advice.

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

Why not play with color a bit or get bangs, this one is close to yours
http://gute-frisuren.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Pixie-Cut-with-Long-Bangs.jpg
except her sides are even shorter. Wear big earrings as accessory instead of
a scarf.
Look, Sharon Stone has her hair wild too http://moda-fashion.biz/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/wpid-An-Updated-Pixie-Haircut-2014-2015-6.jpg

Anyway, for short hair, you do need someone who knows his craft. Check out
hairdressers, if they have great short haircuts, they know how to cut it.

Petunia Face said...

Love both those pics, especially the Sharon Stone one. I'm still a good inch away from either one, but something to look forward to!

katie said...

I think every single look including the Don King is just stunning, fetching, and need no improvement whatsoever.

Mr. X said...


Charlize Theron has rocked hair as short (and shorter) than yours.

http://bit.ly/1M3vspe

These days, people have such crazy hair styles, I doubt anyone would even flinch at your "Don King" style. While it may look different in person, the photo looks really cool. Promise.

You're fortunate that you have good looks. Else, people might be more inclined to look for another point of focus. But, there's no need. You have too many other desirable traits that draw one's attention.

From an undisclosed location...and, with much less hair,

Mr. X

Anonymous said...

Not Ethel Mertz
More like Mrs. Trumbell

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6VXdsKViEA0/UL3rarPE-RI/AAAAAAAAC6g/o99kYwVKBqI/s1600/Elizabeth+Patterson+in+I+Love+Lucy+s2e22.jpg

Sadie Montgomery said...

You look stunning with your short hair! It gives you bolder and fiercer look. You picked a great choice for hair length, as it emphasized the shape of your face. Thanks for sharing with us!

Sadie Montgomery @ Hoshalls Folsom

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