It was the kind of week that made me buy shampoo by Chaz Bono. Endorsed by Alyssa Milano, of course, because who didn't want to be Samantha Micelli? God knows I did. Of course then I found out that the shampoo is not by Chaz Bono at all, but by some guy named Chaz Dean. This guy:I mean, nice frosted tips and all, but I was banking on this Chaz because for some reason I would believe him if he said he had the cure to dry, lifeless locks:It's kinda' like when you take a sip of your iced tea only you picked up someone else's glass of flat soda instead and there is that moment of a mouthful of huh? Anyway, I just got my shipment of Wen by (the other/wrong) Chaz and I'll let you know how it goes, i.e. I will accept nothing less than this:So that was the beginning of my week. Then I found the most perfectest pair of boots ever only they are in girls' sizes, not women's. So of course I bought a pair for Zoey because hello? Black sparkle high tops with rainbow gems across the toes? For god's sakes, the style is called Twinkle Toes and they make me want to do The Running Man or some ridiculous shit like that. Of course I searched for something similar in my size, but apparently Skechers thinks the adult equivalent of Twinkle Toes is to wear microfiber turds on your feet. They call these kicks Boiling Point. They make me want to fart. So that was it, my first week back at work. Eagle eye that you are might notice I mentioned nothing of actually going to work, Ozzy at daycare, bus rides and breast pumps, blah blah, yes there was all that, too. Another day. For now I will leave you with this bacon wrapped egg video. I am so totally making this on Saturday morning. It's like food porn. And easy. Brown chicken brown cow...I'm just surprised they didn't have a money shot of the yolk breaking.