Thursday, January 15, 2015

Day +2: Dimples of Tokhes

There is not a lot to take photos of here in the white walled palace of medicine bottles and Hebrew, so I present you this: the illustration on the back of the box of gauze for the picc line. I can't help but think it looks a lot like something you might see in a store in the Castro. Hot.
I'm telling you, when you're surrounded by so much unknown you look for the familiar in the unlikeliest of places.

Last night I felt as if I had fire ants biting me all over, my chest, neck, scalp, belly, boobs, and when I woke up, yep, I was red hot and welty. Dr. Nadir took a look and said it was contact dermatitis, probably from the laundry detergent they use here. The chemo has weakened my immune system. So my dad had to hunt down the type of detergent I use at home and then re-do all my laundry himself while I had a steroid drip. I hope it goes away soon because I feel so frickin' itchy.

Dr. Nadir here--everyone just calls him Nadir. Let's just say you would never find a doctor like him in the States. He's rude. He says he won't answer my questions. He tells you to shut the fuck up. But he also says all of this with that loveable manner of an inappropriate relative who you know really loves you. Because one second he calls you stupid and the next minute he holds your hand and tells you that it will all be ok.

I was getting offended because I had heard that he gives all of his patients nicknames (albeit derogatory), when finally today he said that I would be CA. I said, CA, as in California? And he said no, CA as in Cute Ass. He said that when he gave me my Bone Marrow Aspiration he saw that I have a cute tokhes, so I was happy for CA until he later added an S to it. SCA. Now I am Stupid Cute Ass. Whatever. My dad is Hoover. Because his name is Edgar. And because he has not seen my dad's ass.

Speaking of my CA, you know those little dimples that some people have above their butt? Like small of the back area? I heard only 4% of the population have them; they're called Dimples of Venus which is nice. My mom had them. I have them. Though I made the mistake today of looking in the mirror and now my Dimples of Venus each have a teeny scar from the Bone Marrow Aspiration. I guess that's where they took it from. A dimple in my dimple of the goddess of Beauty from someone covered in red hot welts and still puffy from saline.

Now you will have to excuse me as the only English channel that is not CNN is showing Terms of Endearment and I while I haven't seen that movie in a long time I am pretty sure it ends on a feel good note.



Mr. X said...

So he can give me a nickname, can I send Nadir a photo of my ass?

Or, can he work with other body parts? Like, say, my hand. Specifically, the middle finger...

I'm glad you're on the mend.

Mindy said...

Susannah - am seeing a pattern here with itchy red rashes. I think Kate, Aaron & Tajfar also got rashes.

Anonymous said...

I can't help but think how incredibly brave you are to do this. Here you're aching all over from chemo and medication, being nauseated, exhausted, itchy from the rash and what not. Then, emotionally you're aching for your two babes and your husband and here you're entertaining the troupes (us). I am glad you are writing though, it helps you probably just as much as us readers who care deeply for you. Hang in there, Susannah and let's think of a lousy nickname for Dr. Nadir.

Anonymous said...

It's wonderful that you have your dad with you, and now that you've reached the Nadir of your treatment it will be hopefully much easier on you from here.

Thinking of you, and checking your page every day to see how you're doing. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

- Sharon M

kerwin said...

I would rather have a Nadir than the sterile, humorless docs you can get here in the US.

My husband and my two kids have those dimples. I just have cellulite.