This might as well be me. I have a zit on my chin and one on my forehead. While I have deigned to shower, I have not seen to it to did my hair, not that I have a 'do but a quick brush would be nice. I have been washing my face with baby wipes. What? Please call me Hannasus Sniknej (Miss Sniknej if you're nasty). That's what Bryan and I say when the other is acting out of sorts or just plain evil: we call each other by our backwards names. Hannasus Ylac Sniknej: she is my Czech counterpart and does not have to shave her legs if she doesn't want to. Which she doesn't. But she will take a beer and some borscht, if you please. Now. Okamzik! (Bryan is Naryb Drahcir Mynoduesp, Of course his real last name is not Pseudonym but he has this weird rule about me not putting our last name on ye olde blog, so yeah. I can only write Sniknej because my Czech counterpart prefers to go by her maiden name. She's a true feminist like that. Note: hairy legs). I don't know what it is lately, or I do but have vowed to punch myself in the face if I write one more time about moving boxes or waiting for the phone guy. Which I am. Again, today. Waiting for AT&T, 10 to 2, baby! I think I'm wearing on them as they have narrowed down their window from 12 hours to just 4. (Luckily my arms are the size and futility of a T-Rex, so I barely split my lip when I punch my own face in.) This move is sucking the forward motion right out of me.
One time, when we were in high school, Bryan and I went on a hike and for some reason I remember him telling me not to ever stop trying to look nice for him. I was wearing yellow stirrup pants. On the way back to the car we were running down the trail and I tripped and fell hard, bloodying my knee and tearing my pants. To be fair, when I bring this up to Bryan now he has no memory of ever saying that. I also remind him that one time he told me he liked his women bitchy. I believe it was right after we watched a Prince video, one of those from the early 90's starring the beautiful women with the mean eyes, and he denies ever saying that, too. C'mon, you know me, he says, I hate bitchy women! And he's right, he does. He's very laid back. But there is no such retort for not trying to look nice for him and I wish I still had those yellow stirrup pants because they would cover up my hairy legs like a charm. Baby steps, people. Tonight I will unpack my razor. In the meantime, I am one Yxes Rekcufrehtom.