Thursday, January 29, 2015

Day +16 I Need You To Give Me Head...Help

You all know I am a planner. And vain. So naturally I've been planning my post-chemo look for when I return to my real world. I'm thinking headscarves, part Jackie O with oversized dark glasses, a little Brigitte Bardot, some vintage Sophia Loren with maybe a little Halston-ized Ali MacGraw for good measure. And because I have just a wee bit of time all by my lonesome to do things like repeat whatever the tv is saying in Hebrew and draw on my bare scalp with lipgloss, I also took some time to see how do-able this old Hollywood me would be, i.e. I am totally fucked and need your help.
Granted I have only very long rectangular scarves with me, but come on. I look like Mother Theresa after a bender. It's no better without the oversized Jackie O's, either. Bless you, my child...
So I thought okay, maybe I need to do more of a wrap? I don't know. Of course I never even knew how to "do" my hair when it was long, despite hours of YouTube milkbraid tutorials and chignon how-tos, I always ended up with a wooden hair stick holding it all together. Anyway, meet Girl With A Pearl Earring (Up Her Ass) because for some reason I look pissed off and a little Patty Hearst.
I mean, we are so far off here that I may need to remind you of my inspiration...
This. Jackie O. was just so oh. I even went so far as to try to find a photo of her when she was undergoing chemo for her own cancer; I thought there might be something fabulous I could crib, but strangely (and mercifully) there really aren't any pics of her sick.

And then there's Sophia. Insanely aspirational. God I want to be her so bad.
And mon dieu, Bardot.
I guess maybe I fancy myself as someone of indistinct European heritage, a little Italian, French, Slavic bone structure, almond-shaped eyes and olive skin, instead of who I really am: a round-faced Welsh girl with Scottish and German mixed in for extra hardiness. 

I also think the problem is that my inspiration photos all include hair, even if it is covered by a scarf. Believe me when I say I thought long and hard about a wig, and by long and hard I mean I have 6 of them in a shopping cart somewhere online. But here's the thing: even in a good wig, one with real hair, lace front, hand-tied (that's right, I now speak the lingo), I would still always feel a bit like Raquel Welch. And I am just not a Raquel Welch kind of girl.
From the Raquel Welch wig line...

Then there are the other options. The head coverings meant for post-chemo. And oh, how they are depressing. Check out this bad boy...honestly not sure if it is meant to be a wig or a hat but it looks like ball hair, plain and simple. 
So I return once again to something not meant for chemo per se, something Hedy Lamarr might have worn if you want to go way back, or Lauren Hutton who can do no wrong in my eyes. And this is what I found:
 Missoni Turbans in a multitude of amazing zigs and zags...
Oh how I want! (I want so badly that I, too, am staring at a stray Xanax that someone must have dropped there in the corner. What is up with these models?) 


But they cost $300 each. And I just can't. I mean, that's stupid, right? Right? (If just one of you says I should buy it I will. Sshhhh.)

I mean, really I can't.

So I spent another 6 hours window shopping online: Free People, Urban, Anthro, Intermix, Shopbop, Topshop, Asos, Ruche, Modcloth, Revolve, Piperlime (soon to be RIP), Nordstrom, Saks, Polyvore and more, because apparently headscarves are in, even turbans to a point, but only if you have perfectly mussed long hair, pouty lips and no hips. Still, no dice.

My best finds were on Etsy. I'm digging this scarf, but have little faith I could actually style it to stay on my head.
Same with this one. Could I do that insouciant side knot? Je ne pense pas.

Then there's this, which I like, in theory. Except it's got a little snood in the back, and I object to snoods both because the word itself (snooooood) and because they look like you have no butt on the back of your head.
Ok then, what about this? Too Madame Tussauds severe? I'm kind of thinking yes? But if I were smiling maybe? I don't know. I'm not a big smiler.
Or this. Boring. But good in a tending to the fields kind of way.
Ugh. You guys, I am not even remotely exaggerating when I say that I have spent 20 hours on planning my post-chemo look, and I am no closer now than I was 3 days of internet browsing history ago. 

This is where you come in. I need your help. Places to shop (online)? To turban or not to turban? How to tie one on (a scarf)? Or even just mental help, as in good lord, crazy lady! Get a grip and shut up about what you will look like! You got a reset, a re-do, you are healthy! Now shoo!


p.s. Seriously though. The Missoni Turban? With no hair peeking through, would it look like a swim cap?

p.p.s. I am hoping I/we need to figure this look thing out stat as my numbers today showed that they are rising! A week? 10 days? Nobody will tell me, but this is what I am hoping.


katrina ragusa said...


Anonymous said...

I love #3 where you draped the scarf around quite nicely. Another option is this one
Think Italian movies from the 60s. Your sunglasses don't match though - you need to get these type
I have tons of scarves here, I wish I could give them to you!

Get a beautiful colorful scarf, black turtleneck and white capris and you're ever so chic. Yet, the thing is, you still would look fantastic with an old kitchen towel draped around.
I am sure you can buy great scarves in Israel - you need to get out of the plane and look radiant: your kids will be less frightened to see you frail.

Anonymous said...

I think the second-to-last one (Madame Tussauds) is really pretty. But girl, if you want the Missoni one, GET IT!! I'm *pretty sure* you deserve something special.

Isabel said...

Hi Susannah!
sooooo.... my friend has alopecia and has been bald since she was about 16, and in my opinion she has MASTERED the bald look (and i know you will rock it when you get back too!). Check out this site that she was interviewed on ( she talks about some of her favorite head wrap companies ( which has a whole "back to work" section) they look great on her and I think they could be just want you are looking for :) She also has a blog about having Alopecia ( which has videos about the best way to do a great head wrap.
I really hope this helps you and we eagerly await your healthy return home! xo

Petunia Face said...

You guys, these comments. So very helpful, thank you!!!

I just bought a few (cheap) scarves on Etsy, plus the grey Madame Tussauds turban thing.

I'm going to sleep on the Missoni one. Mostly because one my husband reads this blog post, he'll be Skyping me to pretty please DON'T buy it! :)


Good Enough Woman said...

If you really like the Missoni Turban, you should totally buy it. But it's *possible* that the Missoni one won't be what you want without some hair hanging out the back. You might like the Madame Tussauds look because the back dangles like hair. That said, I LOVE the pic of Isabel's friend in the link that she sent! And the Suburban Turban headwear looks great! You're going to be fabulous!

Karen said...

Try Sally Beauty Supply stores here in the states.

Who knows; you might just like using extensions glued to the scarfs to give the illusion of having hair. Don't worry so much. You always are beautiful no matter what you wear and everyone here misses and loves you!

kerwin said...

Screw the scarves. Aren't you in California? You have a beautiful face and big eyes and a nicely shaped head. You can rock that bald thing! Just buy a bunch of different sunglasses and roll with it.

If you insist on headwear, I would say there's got to be a place that is kind of one-stop shopping for this. Go there, take 1,000 pics and then we can weigh in.

nada said...

I vote for the side knot and missoni - and I'm digging the Madame T's too. Your face is so pretty - I actually think you'll pull these all off, flawlessly.

Cathi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cathi said...

I thought the Madame T's was pretty cool and the Missoni - I'd definitely get that too! Honestly though you will look beautiful with or without a head covering! Cheers to your numbers going up!

beachbungalow8 said...

I have a lot of good reasons why you should buy a Missoni wrap. Three hundred is nothing, for the most important part of your ensemble the next few months. It's the cost of 2 pairs of Premium Denim (stupidly) the price of two cut and blow Drys in Beverly Hills, the cost of a tattoo of a dragon on the side of your head (don't hold me on this, I don't know tatt prices ), the price of a pair of Celine sunglasses (that are sitting in a shopping cart right now) BUT - you are one of the few, if only, people I know who looks Stunning post chemo (yes- Sinead o'connor and more) unless that 2pm Marin fog is going to freeze your pate off, go with your beautiful bald ass self. Free ball it.

Up Mama's Wall said...

Pic # 1 is total boho glamour. Not mother theresa at all. I love the Missoni but I'm a tiny bit worried it will look like a swim cap with no hair underneath.
But your giant glasses and a jauntily tied scarf and you are set. You are going to rock this bald dealio.

Anonymous said...

Own the baldness. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Good bones don't hide and you've got them. You look beautiful. Ebay search for Missoni scarf resulted in 962 options. Save the big cash for something else. You would look good in a bandanna.

Petunia Face said...

First of all--thank you everyone! Your comments are making me get a big head, and then I'll have to get an XL turban or tie a sheet around my pate.

I will rock the bald as much as I can, but chemo makes you very sensitive to the sun, so I need to cover my head when outside.

Beanies are great for some outfits/destinations/weather. But a girl needs options. I think I'm going to hold off on the Missoni turban (of course every time I think that I then think, wait, but...?). I bought a couple of scarves on Etsy last night plus the Madame Tussauds turban. And because I'm a little obsessive, I will keep the search going.

Thank you all! So very much!

Amy said...

Girl, you'd look beautiful with toilet paper wrapped around your head. Seriously- you are gorgeous.

Now go post a pic of you in your new Missoni wrap. :)