Not to make you feel inferior, but 40.
40 fucking times, that's how many times a rat can copulate per hour.
And if you're wondering how this is germane to Israel or stem cells or the price of oil, I will tell you: it's because in my medically-imposed bubble I have become addicted to an app called Trivia Crack. I play at all hours of the day with people I know, sure, but more often than not with complete strangers. We meet up in the dark alleys of the www and spin the wheel of stupid facts. Quite frankly, I am so bored that had there been an app for actual crack, I would probably be doing that, too. (Note to Self: don't search to see if there is a crack delivery app because there probably is.) (Addendum to Note to Self: if no such app exists, it may be a good business opportunity; the name could be Get Whacked, an homage to Whitney Houston. Funny/not funny/too soon?)
In other news, I was leaving bristle-y whiskers all over my everything, like maybe I had a creepy old man watching me sleep, so I took it down a notch. Or seven.
Figured might as well, it was going to happen anyway, the water's warm, and all that.
Except of course it's not. My head gets cold now, and since I spend most of my time alone I have realized that overwhelmingly my thoughts are in the flat monotone of the original SNL Coneheads. It's unsettling to say the least.
Now for the serious. I managed to get a peek at today's blood work, mostly because I just flat out asked, and here it is.
No offense, but probably 98% of you don't know what any of this means. I sure didn't. Basically, the numbers to pay attention to are my monocytes% (now at 27.4), and my neutrophil number, now at zilch. No neutrophils means no home, and I have begun to ask that question a lot, can I go home yet? Like a wheedling kid who hates Camp WinnaImmunebow so much she starts to fuck up her lanyards on purpose. So today they gave me the first of twice daily neupogen injections, a stinging little mofo of a shot that actually comes with a spring-loaded needle. Hopefully this will stimulate my bone marrow to make white blood cells, and I can go home in about 10 days.
In the meantime, there is this: What builds a domed nest? The Ovenbird, and if you tell me you knew that just off the top of your head I am going to stab you with my God's Eye.