Added to the list of things I never thought I would have to say to anyone: I told you not to close the Lego table on your penis! (See also: this is why we wear undies.)
Then this: trying to explain why I will not kiss that particular owie. Never ever, sparkly object--Look! It's a month old jerkified Red Vine I found at the back of the cupboard and you can have it!
And for those of you that might not have a child or a penis or both, I give you this genius life hack with Legos.
Off to corral my cords tout de suite (that's what he said).