Thursday, July 1, 2010

Alexia. (Such a Pretty Name, Too Bad He Can't See It.)

You know what makes a certain writer feel ├╝ber-cruddy that she has not written a book, let alone published one? Or two? The fact that her occipital lobe has not been damaged and she has not lost the ability to read and yet still she hasn't written said book. That's what.


If I seem to vacillate wildly between woe and wow it's because I'm human. And I'm writing it down. And sometimes I need something to write about. (Other times I've just eaten a bag of Soda Pop Shoppe Jelly Bellys and my jaw feels jittery with glazed corn syrup that only tastes like root beer if you close your eyes and really think about it.)

I saw this poster the other day and fell in love. Then I remembered that Audrey Hepburn had eyes that tilted up just so and an entire word that became hers and hers alone: gamine. She also had a pet deer which makes me poo-poo the poster, because why wouldn't a girl who feeds a fawn think that everything is within reason?

Of course she also spent part of her childhood in the Nazi-occupied Netherlands and went on to do all that humanitarian stuff long before Angelina made it fashionable to look too thin photographed next to refugees, so I go back to feeling bad.

Last night I had a conversation with a friend about what would we have done if we could do anything which is a dangerous conversation to have while eating ice cream on a warm Wednesday night. When I was little I used to want to turn the streets into placid bodies of warm water so that we could all swim everywhere rather than drive. Later I wanted to write, then act, then write again, then something else, not sure what. Sometimes now I think I should have studied acupuncture, or some such art of Eastern healing in which I don't have to touch strangers too much, maybe just look at the color of their tongues from a safe distance of 18 inches away. And I also want to write.

Maybe it would be easier if I lost the ability to read. No more going back to read what I have written, no proofing, no editing, just type type type, tracing the letters on the roof of my mouth before I let go.

What about you? What would you do if you could do anything?

9 comments:

arollerskatingjam said...

That video blew my mind. Brains are such amazingly complex things. Thanks for sharing.

Richie Designs said...

you have way more to say than me...all I can do is post pretty pictures and scram.

my unemployment ends in about 3 seconds...btw and I don't know what I'm doing -except not making money doing what I love.

go figure

Simply Mel said...

I would do the exact same thing I'm doing now except I would probably add a cookbook to the mix, some $ so that we don't have to worry how the hell we will pay the bills this month, and a new locale ~ hurricane gultch is just slowly breaking me down.

But you, YOU should write the damn book already. Do it!

AppleTree said...

I want to be Jenna Lyons or something similar. Or a writer. Or a doctor. No not a doctor. Maybe a trend-forecaster? That sounds easy.

Pieces of a Sometimes Extraordinary Life said...

See, you've hit on the answer, maybe without realizing it. You need to just write without putting any pressure on yourself. Maybe it'll be crap, maybe it'll never be published, but take it from me (I'm a bestselling author who's been there, done that), if you get all caught up in the words you'll just be trapped there with unpublished crap.

First drafts suck, by definition. So write a sucky first draft, and then start to worry. By the time you have that draft done, you'll feel less wrapped up in the impossibility of it all, and the rest will feel infinitely more do-able.

jennifer said...

i've always just wanted to be an olympian. It seemed possible at one time, now i just count off my missed chances every year. I think i'm now down to archery and curling . . .

mosey said...

I want to create stories through photos, video and words. I want to live abroad, even if it means homeschooling (gah!) my daughter.

And I hope you continue to both read and WRITE. But no pressure.

krista said...

i would own a speakeasy in the 20s. i would have a fancy boutique full of cool stuff in portland, or. i would be a published author traveling from one remote location to another to "research."
i would own my own production company, making films i wanted to make, acting when i wanted.
i would have vacation homes around the world, sublet for free to my friends for their family vacations.
i would be the girl i always wanted to grow up to be.

rubywildflower said...

I've always wanted to date/have sex like a man. Oh, and write a book. Or sixteen.