Friday, February 12, 2010

I Only Wish My Name Were Kitten Natividad

I fell in love with Bryan because he said I look like a supervixen in a Russ Meyer movie.*
This is not me but it totally could be if I was someone else.
Who wouldn't want to marry a guy who sees her as a big-breasted pussycat who can drive a sportscar quick? And so I did and here we are, 34C and southbound while I drive my rented Nissan Sentra at the speed limit. Faster, Petunia Face! Kill! Kill!

If you have never seen a Russ Meyer flick, may I suggest you do so this weekend? Low-budget sexploitation camp in which big-breasted women overpower the men... perfect for a Valentine's Day weekend no matter your relationship status.

While we're on the subject--in Googling "Russ Meyer Girls" I stumbled across this painting which is pretty much sex on canvas and I need it/want it for the big day of the V:
This would look smashing above our bed, but since that's not going to happen then I implore my husband to draw me his own version on a piece of printer paper, mixed media of Bic and Sharpie. That's all this girl wants for Valentine's Day, some hand drawn soft-core porn and for my husband to forever see me as a girl with boobs as big as her head.

BTW, what's the best compliment you've ever received? (Let's go into this weekend with the positive...)

*Plus 17,000 other reasons


my favorite and my best said...

that my boobs were as big as my head.


Appletree said...

going to check him out asap, always in need of some good soft core porn

krista said...

well, in relation to boobs, i must say that it's anytime bryan (um, mine and not yours...just so we're clear) tells me that he loves my boobs.
while pregnant, they grew to a G. yes, a G.
let's just say they did not stay that size and their elasticity has been compromised.
to think he still loves them...
le sigh.

Duel Living said...

That I had a "sweet ass".
P.S. I don't have any boobs...they are about as big a zit on "my head".
P.P.S. I'm sure I have been paid nicer compliments in my life...but for some reason only the ones about my ass and my boobs (or lack thereof) come to mind. :)

Anita Davis said...

i woke up to a note written with a colored pencil that read,
"good morning most beautiful otter".

i still have it.

Scribe said...

I was told once in a land far, far away that you could bounce a quarter off my ass. Now it would get stuck.

The other all-time compliment: one of my friends (whose) gay told me if he wasn't then I would definitely be his girlfriend. Ahhh. And Damn.

boops said...

not necessarily the best but the most memorable compliment: "your eyes put me in jail"
i guess the original sentiment was a bit lost in translation...oh well.

Anonymous said...

I just came across your blog!
I love it!
You are so chic and funny.

A beautiful combo to me.

And Zoe es una monada!

Petunia Face said...

Love hearing all the compliments! And a G?! Oh Krista, tonight I'm taking a Tylenol PM for your back.

Isabel, your comment may just go down as second best compliment given to me ever. (And just think--you haven't even seen my boobs yet!).


SGM said...

I don't even remember my first comment, something about my boobs though. Oh! And dudes wanting to get into pants.

Don't get drunk and reject it this time!

sherri said...

you totally look like kitten. in the face. i mean i've never checked out your boobs. that painting is awesome. happy valentines!

Angie Muresan said...

Hm. That's not asking for a lot.