I used to be a girl who did not like Disneyland. Nothing against Mickey and the gang, although Daisy does annoy. No, I simply don't like crowds, the ugliness of the human race en masse and under the sun like that sweaty. Too many tattoos, fingertips, pores enlarged and fat, everything a surface touched by so many, sticky systems of skin, eating and breathing and pooping and then eating some more. Oh, but I am a joy at street fairs!
And now this: a before and after of a girl defined by a petunia. I thought I would hate Disneyland, but I didn't. Because of this, because of her, my very own sticky system of skin that found the est in that place of the Happi:
First stop was the Bippity Boppity Boutique where Zoey was transformed into a betrothed Cinderella, the politics of the princessification of girls be damned. Here she had a personal shopper who helped her pick out her dress, glass (plastic) slippers, gloves and jewelry, then she was whisked off to have her nails polished and hair done, adding a shiny blond ringletted fall that would make Kim Zolciak proud. (Someday her Big Poppa will come, second verse, same as the first.)
Followed by a photo shoot, natch, in the grand tradition of Glamour Shots complete with resin woodland creatures and carriage. It was all a little disturbing in a Toddlers and Tiaras sense, but honestly? Zoey was so damn pleased I didn't care. All day long she licked mouse-eared lollipops and stared at herself in the reflections cast by Toon Town glass, her green eyes glowing with the magic of it all. Or maybe it was the purple eyeshadow that made her eyes pop, I don't know. But here's the thing: I didn't care. Don't care, the elbow length white gloves now brown with what. Zoey LOVED Disneyland and when I say loved I mean she was possessed by it all, a girl who danced with Goofy in front of a crowd of strangers, a girl who hates tomatoes and sleeps in 'til six am.
And I am left to wonder what this means to me, a girl who now loves Disneyland. Who is this person? Do I wear pajamas to bed, a Mickey Mouse print with a seasonal theme? Do I don pleated pants, a fanny pack, rat my bangs even though I don't actually have bangs? Do I say don?? Dot my i's with smiley faces, the est in a world that is no longer seen as sticky sick and fat, too crowded? A before and after of a petunia face of a girl who found herself a princess in a world without pragmatism or politic.
Happy Patriot Day everyone. Bippity Boppity Boo, I'm back.