Rhymes with Delores

Er, that would be slow loris, you dirty minded Mondaynities. Watch this video if you want to smile:



If you don't want to smile, let me be the bearer of bad news and tell you that it is illegal to have a slow loris as a pet. Because of course after seeing this video, I imagined a montage of me and my new pet slow loris named Delores: me tickling her, the two of us frolicking across a field of wild yellow mustard flowers real sloooow-like, Delores feeding me Cadbury Creme Eggs and then lazily wiping the sugary yolk from my chin. So I Googled "slow loris as pets" and saw that they are endangered. Oops. They constantly mark their territory with urine. Yuck. And if you do buy them illegally most likely their canine teeth have been broken or pulled as they bite in captivity and their bite is toxic. Oh, Delores! We will always have this video of not you and not me in a strange room with ugly green bedding, your armpits and my nails freshly manicured.

Happy Monday.