Monday, March 23, 2009

The Many Faces of Zo

Wanna' hear something pathetic? Sure you do--it's Monday. Well, when I was but a wee awkward lass in the seventh grade I had a girl crush on an eighth grader named Tracy McKibbin. Of course at 12 years old I could not call it a girl crush, would not dare even think of it that way lest my classmates catch on and call me a lezzie like they called poor Vanessa Gaynor who later had to change schools because the kids were so cruel.

But I am not here to talk about Vanessa with the unfortunate last name. I am here to talk about Tracy McKibbin, Tracy who danced to Madonna's "Borderline" in the school talent show, alone on the ampitheater stage confident and pretty, me on the stone steps wondering how a girl could do that when I could barely look at myself in the mirror alone in my bedroom. I remember watching Tracy dance, and later, watching Tracy walk down the hall, open her locker, watching Tracy talk to her friends, flirt with boys. I watched Tracy and I came to the conclusion that what made Tracy so perfect was that she never smiled too broadly, never laughed too loudly, never snorted or squealed or beamed. A more mature mind would recognize this as possibly being aloof, maybe scared, but 12 year old Susannah surmised that beauty must come from not having any facial expression at all. And so I set out not to smile, not to laugh, not to squint my eyes or crinkle my face. And that is what I remember most about the seventh grade: trying to keep my face still so I would be beautiful.

Pathetic, right? Happy Monday, people. Of course now I know better, and I make a contorted disgusted face at my 12 year old self. I recognize the beauty in a wide smile, a face red and twisted from crying. To honor the beauty in the goof, I present to you The Many Faces of Zo (complete with emoticons that are so dorky I have to wonder if Tracy McKibbin would know what they meant) (but whatever):

Surprised Face!

Mean Face, Grrr :/
Guilty Face :>

Oh No You Di'int Face :#*&$^

The Prettiest Face in all the World Face :)



If there is one thing I wish for my daughter it is that she grows up knowing that she is most beautiful when she is authentically herself.

And I wish that for you, too. Like I said, Happy Monday (insert whatever face you want here).

Love,

Susannah

19 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I love her mean face, hahaha.

Jessie said...

This one must be my favorite of ALL TIME!

If you opened up photobooth on my computer, you would see approximately 479 pictures of me making silly faces. Silly faces with friends, silly faces with G, silly faces with the pup/kitty, silly faces with my mom... no matter how much fun I have taking them, I am always (AT LEAST) just a little embarrased of how they look afterwards. :D :S :P

Now I know that the faces we make are what make us beautiful. :)

Aartee said...

Zoey is to cute for words! The Oh no you didn't face is priceless...

Sschraed said...

She is too cute...I can't take it :)

Vanessa said...

I love this post! She's a beautiful little girl, and I hope she doesn't ever forget that. We tend to do that, all too often.

Jen said...

Thanks for those...totally made me laugh and made my Monday! She is so delicious!! Please promise me when you come back down to LA we can meet up and introduce the girls to each other! (And ourselves!)

Sarah Danielle: Jeune Marie said...

Your should print these out "photobooth" style. So presh!

kelly said...

thank you, this blog hit a nerve.

your daughter is gorgeous, btw. :)

JackeeG4glamorous said...

She is the mostest beautiful child!

I have a 5 year diary of my gawky horrible years, when I was 11,12,13 years old and wanted to be "cool". I studied cool girls more than I studied math. OBV, to anyone who has read my possts, but anyways, I have scads of entries of me saying "I will try to be cool tomorrow". I looked at Mike, and caught him looking at me, I hope I was acting cool. Blah, blah, blah, I grew up goofy as hell and have appreciated the non-cool days as well as how cool I was.
Your post reminded me of all my diaries and thier entries (except for "I hate my Mother" and I'm wearing a bra, right NOW)

Robin said...

She is So Beautiful!

PalagiGirl said...

Thank you for my first real smile of the day!

Maggie May said...

AMEN to that!

krista said...

she is beautiful.
and she looks just like you.
no matter what hair day it is.
(um, i haven't washed my hair in three days. and my daughter looks nothing like me. i'm not jealous. whatever.)

Bird* said...

frickin' adorable.

Bird* said...

frickin' adorable.

meinkc said...

...this is so wonderful. Yay S and PF! :)

Sarah's Fab Day said...

Ok that was one of the sweetest things!

I also cringe at my insecure, follower 12 year old self.

Still Life With Coffee said...

I love all your posts.
I look forward to your funny, insightful, honest, and really really well-written posts.
I totally remember watching other girls and thinking that if I could just be like them, my life would be better.

Suzanne : : S.HOPtalk said...

What a little doll! She oozes confidence and joy...how lucky she is to have such a loving, insightful, {and beautiful} Mama!