Tuesday, January 13, 2009

So Yeah

I'm having the kind of day that makes you want to buy two doves. A shy day. The day after kind of day, the day after what exactly, I don't know. Did I say too much? Too little? Was I overly dramatic, all jazz hands when the score almost certainly called for a shuffle-ball-chain?

I feel the need for diversion, for Brody Jenner, for Abbazabba, for lyrics and--look! Over there! Kittens!

Yeah, so, hm. What's your favorite color? I like to put hot tamales in my popcorn, get 'em all buttery and warm and bite down on them, sweet with the salty. I hate the smell of tar, vitamins make my throat close up. Each night I go to bed wearing socks but sometime during the night I shirk them off so there is a perennial pile of socks tangled at the bottom of my sheets. Yesterday was National Blog Delurker Day and I missed it, so enrapt was I with the size and shape of my eye. I forgot to get you a card, flowers, but please, tell me something about yourself. You, yes you. If not a secret then, something mundane. Because today is the kind of day for anything. Pretty please?


Lisa said...

I hate those days. And, as a person who has a huge tendency to "overshare" (I'm honest to a fault) I can definitely relate. However, please don't feel that way as far as anything on this blog is concerned. Your unrestricted honesty is what makes reading it so refreshing.

And, as far as something about me... Randomly, I love baked Cheetos with hot sauce on them - tastes like a chicken wing. My husband taught me that one :).

Tess said...

I used to get eye twitches in college.

v8_grrl said...

I do the same thing with my pantaloons


Petunia said...

Today is emotional hang over day, the day you have after you get honest and share something from the dark side. It's exhausting to be brave.

Something about me: read today's post on my blog and that'll tell you more than you need to know about a few things! It might even entertain you in a twisted sort of way.

Aartee said...

hmmm I played the flute for 7 years and now I don't think I could remember how if I tried?

Simply AnonyMom said...

I too put Hot Tamales in my popcorn. That alone is reason enough that hubby will not share with me.

I also bake red hots into my brownies.

Oh and my eye twitches almost nonstop and has since Nov 2007 (when we bought the house I hated and told hubby no to and he bought anyway)

I held a de-lurking day on my blog and one person came out, and I lost 5 followers so you did not miss anything (maybe its just me though??)

I read your blog daily, err everytime you post, but I rarely comment.

If you want a gross bathroom post read myine from Frisay on my blog.

Baking With Plath said...

I'm a big fan of avocados and I never take the last two drags of a cigarette.

And I love your blog, though (more than) half the time I don't comment because I think you're the bee's knees and it intimidates me.

the girL said...

I love the smells of chlorine and/or bleach, vinegar and skunks. I know... everyone does right?

Megan said...

Most of the time that I am sitting at my computer, I am sitting there without much more than a pair of undies, sometimes less than that!

Vanessa said...

I think I lost the love of my life. I'm trying to get him back.
Also, I think lemonade, cranberry juice and gin & tonics are the best beverages.

Jen said...

You already know I love you, so I don't have to come out of the closet. :-)

I love the smell of Leah's pee diapers. Gross, I know.

I hope you'll still be my friend.

Petunia Face said...

Ooo! I love these!
Total emotional hangover day, the Monday after The Breakfast Club.

I, too, love avocados and the smell of chlorine. And yes, even the smell of my daughter's pee pee diapers. WHY IS THAT?

And me? Intimidating? The girl with the facial tic? Dude. I'm Underdog, the tortoise, the funny one, never the one wearing sparkles.

Vanessa--you're killing me with losing the love of your life. Seriously. What can I do to help you get him back? I'm a sucker for romance. Just say the word.

xo everyone!

Misplaced Country Girl said...

I too always have a pile of socks in the bottom of my bed tangled in the sheets. Oh, and I take an anti-depressant for anxiety attacks. Now I can leave my house.

Amanda said...

Damn! Your kitty picture was going to be the What the Fuck Wednesday photo for tomorrow! I will really have to work now!

I like to eat plain m&ms with my butter popcorn. But I only go to about 2 movies a year, so I don't get it very often.

Melanie said...

I read every time you post, but have only commented a few times. I overshare too much, then feel the equivalent of buyer's remorse after. I was not happy that you have an eye / mouth twitch, but I feel better because I have the same. It has to be the anxiety. I'm medicated for that as well, little yellow pills that save my mental health.

You are honest, funny, and true to who you are. "So yeah," its going to be okay. Really.

Robin said...

I also put hot tamales in popcorn, only Brad hates it :(
And the socks to bed thing is a must, even though I kick them, and all the covers off sometime in the middle of the night.

Don't worry about "over-sharing" you and your blog are very real and that is what people (I) love about you!

Miss Dashwood said...

I adore your blog. Adore, adore, adore. Read it every day. I found out about it from Mrs. Blandings.
Something mundane about me: I have no known allergies.
Never stop writing, Petunia Face.

Anonymous said...

I used to bite the ends off of a twizzler and drink out of it like a staw at the movies. Also, I once stalked a (C) movie star into the bathroom and got her signature on a piece of toilet paper.

Anonymous said...

It's funny that yesterday was DeLurker Day (I had no idea!) because I've sort of unofficially had a DeLurker Day of my own this morning, commenting on all the blogs I've read forever but am too shy to comment on (duh, it's the internet, not like you all can see whatever zit is on my face).

My random comment is that my boyfriend doesn't fully trust me. I learned this last year in Hawaii when we were swimming in the ocean and a very large very human looking turd floated toward us. I said "Boyfriend, MOVE NOW." In a pretty convincing tone, I thought. He took his time looking around and asked "Why?" Sure, he moved when he saw the floatie, and pretty fast too, since it had meanwhile drifted VERY close. But didn't hop to when I told him to. Just hope he learned his lesson, because next time it might be a bus careening out of control.

Anonymous said...

ooh! This is my chance! I've never posted on here, but I am feeling the need to de-lurk. We have a few things in common--1. I lost my job also (worked for cottage living...yeah, i don't get it either) 2. i have eye twitches constantly too! Maybe it's a symptom of jobless stress? Chin up Petunia!

Anonymous said...

Um, and I didn't mean to sound so bitter in my turd story.

I'm fun, I promise!

Tobi said...

I cannot touch cotton balls or cornstarch.

I once shocked myself with a toaster because I was holding a kitchen knife between my teeth while trying to free a bagel.

The song Ten Little Indians was stuck in my head for a whole year.

I failed my first drivers test because I took both hands off the steering wheel and covered my eyes (There was a turtle in the road).

My left eye has twitched for years.

FYI: When combined with a snarling lip, furrowed brows and a slightly tilted head, a twitching eye can get you out of ANY uncomfortable situation. Most people who look like that carry weapons. No sales clerk, co-worker, In-law or Mary Kay lady will risk it.
Trust me.

How is that for over sharing!?!

monkey said...

i am not a fan of the high-five and
i am afraid of puppets and claymation.

Olivia said...

I love to watch that reality show about the Kardashians. I watch it on the small television in my bedroom and cover my face with a cushion when I laugh so that my husband won't catch me.

mamacita said...

A little about me:

I go to work
Like a doctor
When I rock the mike
You've got to like
The way I operate.
I make miracles happen
Just from rappin'.

Elizabeth said...

Sometimes I stay in my jammies all day on a weekday. I apologize too often and it's typically about my messy house, cat hair on my clothes or the snot dried up on my kids face. Sorry.

notbubbly said...

I do the sock thing. I cannot sleep in socks!

And as I found out over Xmas my mom and brother do the same thing.

JackeeG4glamorous said...

These were cool! Sorry about your funk Susannah, those of us who lurk or comment and truly commiserate with you will try to lift you up.

Seriously, what's up with hot tamales and popcorn? I will have to try that! It's like Ranch dressing on pizza? YUM!

Totally adored the floating turd story - now doesn't everyone?

Something random about me....hmmmm...normally I'm so very sane.....aside from going to work all "suited up" and wearing one black shoe and one brown shoe...or how about when I was at the church picnic and mosquitos were swarming around my legs/a kindly up and coming young Dr's wife (who I barely know) helped by spraying OFF on my legs as I hopped on one foot...and farted.
(my eye is twitching as I write this)
Everyone knows that despite myself, I really can't watch midgets on television, nor blind singers, and those cats???? Pretty creepy.
Hang in there with your panic attacks, it will pass and you will be alright again. We love you.

Vanessa said...

Thanks, Susannah. Trust me, as soon as I figure out what to do, I'll let you know! But you can send me some lemonade (or better, yet a gin & tonic) to make me feel better :-)

Selena said...

Vitamins make my throat close up too, in fact, the last time I had one I threw it back up immediately.

Kwana said...

These pictures are too much. I love the first one. I'm having a really bad day and night. Hope to make it through. The pics help.

Hannah said...

thank you for introducing me to the concept of "emotional hangover days." i have one about once a week but never knew the proper way to describe them! random mundane fact: i can't exhale through my nose underwater. i involuntarily push my upper lip up to cover my nostrils. it looks absolutely ridiculous and i'll never be able to go swimming with a boy until he's proposed marriage.

GG said...

My name is Gina and I am addicted to The Real Housewives of anywhere. But, the real secret is my husband loves it too. I catch him watching it even when I am not around.
Consider me officially "delurked".

MJ said...

Please tell me that the photo with the people in the background kissing and the hairless cats in the foreground is something you created on photoshop. I think it's the best thing I have ever seen!

Judy said...

You know everything I've ever learned or experienced about facial tics-so no mas...except to remind that they are SO normal and SO associated with stress that The "Pink Panther" series (yeah, I know I'm dating myself yet again but they were so funny that I had tears and my sides actually hurt from laughing) used Inspector Clouseau's progressively worsening facial twitches (as Peter Sellers gradually drove him mad with his ironic career enhancing incompetence) as one of the funnier running gags.

As your Maternal Panic Disorder gene contributor (and I apologize over and over), I've been there, done it, felt it...and, like an addict, learned to accept it even as I know being Panic Attack free for many years (where's my 15 year chip?) doesn't mean I'm "cured". I could NEVER say that having Panic Attacks is a good thing-no, they are the most monstrously, hideous, terrifying, debilitating things I can begin to imagine and there's not much I wouldn't do to avoid having one. But having said that, I can also say that they changed me forever-and not all in a bad way. PPAAP (Post Panic Attack Acute Phase), I realized that I was much more humble, more compassionate...and stronger-as in temoered like steele by fire, as in "That which does not destroy us makes us stronger", as in I lived through them; I came out the other side which means that I had or acquired strengths and coping mechanisms I never knew I had. And, frankly, while a Panic Attack would still bring me to my knees whimpering for mercy; I KNOW that if I lived through them then, there isn't much worse I could ever have to deal with in the psychological arena. I'm ME and I have Panic Attacks and I'm still standing like the old-fashioned, inflated, bottom weighted, knock-it-down-and-it-comes-bobbling-back-up-with a silly-grin-for-the-next-punch, Bozo the Clown toy.

Inane facts about me: I can't take the first copy of the tabloids, magazines, newspapers, etc. I HAVE to pick one from the middle of the stack.I can't relax when I come home until I've taken my Baby Wipe head to toe wipe-down..even though I'm going to shower before bed in hours anyway. I can't go to sleep without a shower or bath at night and the very thought of a shower in the morning makes me feel sick. It's like being beaten up by mean water drops. And I am dying to try Lisa's husband's Baked Cheetos with Hot Sauce concoction because I am a firm believer in the most under-rated Flourescent Orange Food Group! Oh, and how anyone can stand socks in bed is a mystery. For me, it's NOTHING can get between me and my sheets du noir or what's the point? No matter what night attire I've tried, nothing works. I turn over or move in bed and they don't. Over and Out.

Anonymous said...

i wanted to be an archeologist, at best, never a mother. In fact I had a nightmare about being a babysitter to Maddox, Pax and Shiloh. The other kids were elsewhere and apparently in my subconscience, and my eco scooter was just shot and would not start on solar or anything. My Word! What does this mean? Am I stressed? Under sexed? A weirdo? A normal single woman? Who knows? I just want an ice pack and some slumber.

MJ said...

Something about me....I hate hairless cats and dogs. They freak me out. I will have a panic attack if I am within 10 feet of a hairless anything.

(Sorry if you're a big fan of hairless cats/dogs/rats/anything and have them as pets, I'm sure they are fine and I would be happy to hear that someone out there loves those god awful ugly creatures.) :)

s. said...

Delurking through random facts, eh? Erm, I pop citalopram daily to help keep anxiety at bay but it seems to be killing my memory. And, you know, that's not entirely a bad thing.

Courtney said...

I like to think that even though I'm married, I'm a super strong and independent woman. Then my husband leaves the country for work and all of a sudden I'm like a 7th grader wondering where my boyfriend went. I feel like I just can't go to sleep without talking to him and I have a "come home" countdown running in my day planner. I'm totally 13 again.

Erin said...

How about this one? If I accidentally bump one elbow, I have to turn around and bump the other elbow, even if it hurts, to make it even.

Richie Designs said...

monkeys and birds as pets completely freak me out.

ahhh the emotional hangover. What a perfect word for what it is that I do on a on-going basis.

Anonymous said...

I have no time to write the things on my blog that I really would like people to post...So, I just post mostly meaningless points of reference for me to track back to later...I admire your writing (and your honesty) because it is truely insiteful.

B said...

wow, these stories are very cool! my mundane fact is i have to check behind the shower curtain EVERY time before i sit on the toilet...even at someone elses house.
please do not stop being you and being real...many times you have brought me to tears because of your harsh and beautiful view of life...so thank you and take care :)

amy b.s. said...

since i love your blog and finally sort of came out as a de-lurker yesterday (i think) i thought i'd participate again.

random things:
i like to type without capitals (obviously) and cannot spell for the life of me.
i love that disgusting ballpark nacho cheese and would eat it on just about about anything if i could.
i can't stand my brother-in-law's girlfriend.
i hate my cell phone and therefore never talk to any of my friends which makes me a terrible friend!
i quit smoking and miss the hell out of it (now that's gross).

too much?

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I missed delurking day too. I was busy writing about beds.

Random thing about me? I discovered that I have amazing ballroom dancing potential at age 28 when my husband and I took lessons for our wedding. Alas - he hated it, so our future as the next Fred and Ginger ended before it began. Now I can only hope that one of my sons ends up being gay and takes me out dancing in my golden years.

topsyturvydays said...

I love your realness.

The last time I tried to start a blog that was more real and about me, I woke up in the middle of the night after the first post and deleted it!

Even delurking scares me!

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Each night I go to bed wearing socks but sometime during the night I shirk them off so there is a perennial pile of socks tangled at the bottom of my sheets.

This made me snort because... me, too.

I'm delurking, but today is the first day I've read your blog so it's kind of cheating. BUT IT WILL NOT BE THE LAST.

amber {daisy chain} said...

I'm so afraid of failure. Did you know this about me? most likely. I think this fear is what has caused my 2 panic attacks, but it's what also drives me.

I'm also a "solver", when someone tells me something is wrong, I'm already in my head trying to solve it, I don't know why, that's just how I am. miss you, xo

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Not really delurking, but here's what's going on with me today:

I got my hair colored. It cost $90, and now I feel guilty.