First off we have a festive holiday TANGBO card from Wrongcards.com. I love it when a card says everything I've always wanted to say and all I have to do is sign my name.
I've been thinking about making it a tradition to give Zoey a cozy pair of pjs every Christmas eve, hence next up we have traditional pajamas for the kidlets in your life: Armor of God PJs. Makes me feel like a heathen as the jammies I bought my daughter feature pink polka-dots and not, say, satin crosses touting Chastity and Salvation. Oh well Ephesians 6:10-18, there's always next year!
I also seem to have missed the boat on this one, a kids tattoo parlor. Never fear, Child Protective Services. I did manage to get her the sanitized body piercing kit, Prince Albert Special Holiday Edition.
This I just want for my very own. Seriously. Come on, TANGBO, kick it down! A knit dissection frog. Now why didn't I think of that?
And here, for that person in your life that you resent having to buy presents for (hey, we've all got one). Crugly is the new fugly with these hybridized Croc/Uggs. When you care enough to give WTF.
Oh dear. From crugs it's just a slippery slope to this next item: the Artificial Virginity Hymen. And no, I'm not making this shit up. Although if you don the boots above something tells me you won't ever need the faux hymen.
Now personally I want a job for Christmas, you know, for the paycheck, benefits and general rise in self-esteem, but also so I can sport these eyelid stickers while sleeping on the job. Genius! Because that's totally what my eyes look like while staring at spreadsheets all day. Creep-to-the-mother-effin'-y.
Okay, that's all I've got for now. Don't you wish you were on my gift list? Yeah, me, too. So Happy TANGBO peoples of the www. And if that's not enough to make you feel feliz this holiday season, I leave you with this:
Ho ho ho!