Thursday, December 4, 2008

Great, Now I'm Craving Pulled Pork

I lost.
Of course technically you cannot really lose something you never really had in the first place, but still. I feel like a loser. I did not get the job. They want somebody with more design experience. They want somebody more. And so here I sit, less, still at the craps table playing the game. And yes I know this image is of roulette but craps fits. Crap happens.
To save both you and me from myself today (note to self: do! not! wallow!), I am going to write about myself. (Ha! Gotcha!) Last week the most awesomest Jennifer from The Most Awesomest Stuff Ever tagged me and so here I am, ready to play this game:
10 years ago: I was surrounded by books, papers and the stiff manila-yellow smell of the library. I was studying for my Masters exam and very, very happy. I felt smart and strong.
8 years ago: I was working as an Assistant Buyer and playing at being an adult. I felt small and scared. On the weekends Bryan would take me sailing and I would throw up vast quantities of Froot Loops into the Bay waters.
6 years ago: Another job, another company, this time with good friends. Every day we would eat lunch together and talk fast and dirty. I laughed a lot. Bryan and I moved to the city.
2 years ago: I was eight months into the tightrope balancing Zoey and Bryan, friends, free time, work and bills. Everything had shifted but I had not yet realized that it is best to tiptoe barefoot lest you fall and drop your basket.
Five yummy things:
1. nutella
2. insalate caprese
3. A pulled pork sandwich and hush puppies washed down with Cheerwine from Little Pigs Barbecue in Statesville, NC. I have not been there for maybe 15 years but I have been chasing that sweet childhood memory dragon ever since.
4. toasted bread with goat cheese, drizzled with honey and sprinkled with thyme.
5. chocolate covered pretzels
Five songs I know by heart:
1. My adidas by Run DMC
2. Theme song to The Patty Duke show
3. Sweet Child of Mine, G&R
4. I Got U Babe, UB40
5. Oh Susannah, by everyone who has ever stuck their hand out to shake mine
Five places I would like to escape to:
1. Mykonos, Greece
2. Florence, Italy
3. Malpais, Costa Rica
4. Hossegar, France
5. the space between our faces when Zoey gives me a kiss with her tiny rosebud mouth
Five things I would never wear:
1. acid wash
2. pleats
3. stirrup pants
4. shoulder pads
5. Disney apparel
Five favorite tv shows:
1. ANTM
2. The Hills
3. Weeds
4. Californication
5. insert newest cheesy reality show here just so long as it lowers my IQ with each episode
Five things I enjoy doing:
1. Hanging out with girlfriends, just chatting about everything and nothing
2. Playing plouf on our bed with Zoey
3. reading
4. cuddling with Bryan
5. impossibly long, warm sunny days at the beach with a bag of chips and my family
Five favorite toys:
1. This here blog
2. The little magnetic doodle thing that I gave Zoey
3. The internet at large
4. swimming pools
5. humor of any kind
Five people who I am tagging to fill this out:
1. not to be
2. a butt
3. but
4. I am tagging
5. YOU
Quick update: I just saw on my site reader that somebody from Disney reads my blog. If this is true then my apologies for saying I would never wear Disney apparel. If you want to offer me a job and maybe I can work from home from 10am-2pm, 4 days a week and get paid $100k/year with benefits, then I will dress head to toe in Disney duds. I will even tattoo the Tazmanian Devil on my bicep for a signing bonus. Unless, of course, the Tazmanian Devil is a Looney Tunes character, in which case I would consider Pluto but not Goofy. Get back to me on that. Thank you.

18 comments:

Richie Designs said...

rats!

I love that you cheated your way through the photoshop thing though. Brilliant and brave

FoxGrable said...

ha! i don't know if i'm the one you saw, but i work at the mouse house, and i would never ever ever wear disney clothing:)

positive thoughts!

Megan said...

Shoots! I wanted it for you, badly.

Disney-wear is just schlocky, I'm not sorry to say.

Pulled pork and hush-puppies, DIVINE! Oh, to be able to have that for lunch today. I think I lived a past life in the South, myself, I love that food so much.

Jennifer said...

Poop on the job. As for the Disney prospect, how about tweedle dee and tweedle dum on each ass cheek? They would be fools not to hire you!

Anonymous said...

I live in NC and would gladly take you out for the best pulled pork, slaw and hushpuppies ever! I can't believe how invested I found myself in you getting that job, I must have checked 3 times a day, I am unnaturally bummed for someone I have never met. Good luck, from the pork capital of the world.

jules said...

That sucks. :(

monkey said...

duuuuude.
toasted bread with goat cheese, honey and thyme????
that sounds like a concoction that wants to take my taste buds home and do bad deeds to them while listening to a love jam.

bleck on the job front.

but, hey, at least you know photoshop now, yeah?

Rosalie said...

Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I wish you were here to enjoy our pork (which we are still eating!) go get your self a slow cooker...best thing ever. good job whoring yourself to disney. we're all sluts even though we pretend not to be...xoxo nina

Anonymous said...

Write, write, write, write.............

Pull all that energy you have into amazing, really amazing writing! You've got it! Don't be defeated, try and draw the power of it into something for yourself. You need to make this all on your terms. Don't let THE MAN (not Bryan of course) be in charge. You are!

Does that make sense?

amber {daisy chain} said...

darn it all on the job front...but does this mean more time to work on that fantabulous book of yours? I hope so. Keep remembering what's important.

The Lil Bee said...

What's a site reader? I have so much to learn! Like, acidwash pants are out?

Patois said...

Ignore her Disney. I'll do the same for only $80k.

Petunia Face said...

Hi all,
If anyone wants to send me pulled pork I will gladly accept. The last time we were in NC (15 years ago) my mom actually bought a cooler full of pork, hush puppies and Cheerwine and filled it with dry ice and shipped it home to California. And yes, it was still good.

Lil Bee--I actually meant a site meter, something that measures your traffic and tells you where it's coming from (vaguely). I used sitemeter.com but there is also google metrics and I am sure dozens of others. Watch out--it gets addictive to check out your traffic.
And no, acid wash it totally NOT out. Wear them with LA Gear hightops and some fat socks all scrunched up. Note: the socks MUST match your v-neck sweater from The Limited.

Patois--perhaps we can job share the Disney position. I'll work 1 day a week, you work 3 and then I'll take 80K and you take 20K (since it was my idea and all. But you can wear the mouse ears.)

Kwana said...

Sorry about the job but wonderful plug at the end. Hang in there.

JackeeG4glamorous said...

Sorry about the job. Photoshop can be rough.

Nutella - goes great with every thing but liver!

gracie o said...

LOL!!

All this shit together would make one hot outfit!

"Five things I would never wear:
1. acid wash
2. pleats
3. stirrup pants
4. shoulder pads
5. Disney apparel"

just a girl... said...

I am so stealing this. and for the record i fucking hate disney and cartoon shit on clothes i also dont like holiday sweaters. I guess i am a bitch. thanks petunia