Thursday, April 23, 2015

My Goal Is To Reach Intentional

I'd like to think I'm maybe 1/2" from that goal? From looking like I cut my hair into a super short pixie on purpose and am not actually post-chemo. So two months? Two months and I will look like I meant it. 
Mean it. 
Me.
Although I will say that yesterday I received my first compliment from someone who doesn't need to make me feel better. I was at West Elm when a stranger told me she loves my haircut. Thanks! I said, maybe a little too effusively. It's not actually a haircut. I had chemo. Well, it looks great, she said, and then followed me around the store telling me about how she used to live in Hawaii, some story about a man, a rainstorm; it had nothing to do with hair or west or elm, not even anything to do with trays, which is what I was buying. So perhaps she was not all there, but even halfway there, a sliver of there, a hint, a shade of thereness and I will take it. Took it. Thanked her a thousand times because I am almost there, too. A half an inch away and I will no longer be a walking reminder of how terrible things happen, but a story of how terrible things happen, and then something else happens after that. 

And then. Before she left I gave the woman a hug.

xo,
S

18 comments:

Michele Ryan said...

You look gorgeous with or without hair! I am inspired by you and your journey with every post. Thank you for sharing.

Sheryl Garinger said...

Go Girl. You look great. Short hair is back and so is silver. Your color is cool. Just saying! MORE POWERADE TO YOU!

Sheryl Garinger said...

Power to you.

Danielle Sciocchetti said...

you look spectacular.

kerwin said...

You look wonderful and have a face that needs no hair. I said the same thing about liking a friends haircut that had just gone through chemo and she had your exact response. I felt like an idiot, but I should have known better. I bet once it grows in a bit you end up keeping the short hair for a while.

Lacey said...

You truly look beautiful! And I would venture to say you already have reached "intentional" or at the very least you are really close!

Cheryl said...

Loving the beautiful color of your hair as it grows.

Leigh said...

Despite the circumstances that led to your short hair 'do, it looks fierce. Strong and deliberate and chic and fearless, all wrapped up in one utterly beautiful bow. My mom rocked this look in the '60's, along with cigarette pants and Nehru collars. I've always envied the big-eyed gamine features and stylistic bravery that marry in this particular "look".

Annie Crowninshield said...

I used to write a blog and yours was one of my daily reads and then I got divorced and blah blah blah and suddenly writing a blog sounded like hell and reading about other peoples life like torture but I just found yours via an old post of mine and A) I cant believe Zoe is 9! She was a wee little thing (and you made another little one!!) and B) Cancer. Fuck. But wow. You are just as hysterical. You look just as gorgeous. Gorgeous! and you still kept writing. Congrats. I was writing my blog for other people but now I realize what an incredible journal it is or me. A journal that I made like 1000000 keys for and just handed them out to every fucking person in the world. I look forward to checking in here again. VIVA!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You should have told the lady at West Elm that you just returned from France and had a haircut there. In general, European women have short hair - look at Scarlet Johanson: she spends more time in France and sure enough her hair is super short. Remember Natalie Portman who shaved her head for a role? She had great bone structure, just like you! Who knows, you may never go back to long hair after all.

Anonymous said...

Look, dudette, you own a house in Mill Valley, and you got a gift of 80 freaking thousand dollars that you didn't even need, P.S. you look gorgeous and lots of people don't get to shop at west elm....get a grip.

Petunia Face said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Petunia Face said...

Anon @ 8:44--true, yep. I also have MS, my mom died, my step dad died of MS two months before I was diagnosed, I love my husband, have a great job, healthy kids, amazingly generous friends, I can't afford a trip to Hawaii or a million other things that other people have but I did buy a tray at West Elm and I did need the $80k, not sure what that is there or how you think you know my finances. There are a thousand different ways to look at life, and a thousand and one ways to look at other people's lives. I am luckier than most and I unluckier than others and I am ok with that. Just grappling with my own stuff, not yours.

That's my grip, and I think it's a good one, thanks.

To all: thank you for your kind comments. It means more to me than you will ever know.

Anonymous said...

You're right,I was being a bitch,I'm sorry. I was having one of my Lindsay Lohan nights. You're going through a ton of crap right now, god knows I wouldn't have handled a situation like this nearly as well as you. ..Embarrassed emotiji

Anonymous said...

Speaking of, happy almost -end-of-day-after-Zoey's birthday, she's as beautiful as ever. Glad to see that she's taking after her mom.

Petunia Face said...

Anon--Thank you for coming back and saying sorry.

I was just telling my friends today about your comment and how much it hurt me. I also told them about the one time I left a mean comment on a blog. It was years ago, and I still think about it and feel crummy about it. Only I didn't have the guts to ever go back and say sorry.

I like your style.
Thank you.
S

lee woo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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