Monday, January 26, 2015

Day +13 Qwerty, And You?

Today was a white crayon on a sheet of white paper. It was Dora the Explorer blinking at you, waiting for an answer. Today was actually reading the Terms and Conditions. Watching paint dry, staring at the wall, cliché was playing the quiet game all day. By myself. And winning.
Today was a day so boring that I am going to say something really offensive, against my better judgment, mostly because it feels true. I feel like Anne Frank. Now before you get all tar and feathery on me, please know that I know how immensely horrific the Holocaust was, and that my situation is nothing like it, my life not really anything like Anne Frank's life. It's hard to make the comparison, especially here, because wow, what an asshole thing to say. But it's like this: today my dad and his girlfriend (she flew in for support) went out to lunch with a friend of my great-aunt Kay, and I sat in my room and waited for them to bring me food. It's like that every day actually. My dad brings me bananas or crackers, hummus, more water, sometimes chocolate. And the waiting for him is excruciating. When he finally comes bearing a roast beef sandwich I call him my Miep and feel bad telling him I hate red meat.

(Ok, so maybe it's better to say that I feel like Cathy from Flowers in the Attic, except sans incest and hopefully without the arsenic. The point being, this sucks and I am bored out of my fricking mind.)

Then again my temperature is also 37.5°C, and I have been told to call the clinic if it goes over 38°C, in which case I might need to go to the hospital in Jerusalem, and what I know to be the most true of all is that I do not want to go to the hospital in Jerusalem; I do not want any complications. So I drink more water, take some אופטלגין and some אקמול , and wait to hear all about the painstakingly difficult decision-making process of someone picking out what type of wallpaper to get because that's all I have to endure now.

Boredom. Luxury really.


Mindy said...

Online Scrabble versus the computer? They have 4 help cheats which you can use for brilliant words that score 100 points! Hope temperatute behaves itself. xx

Anonymous said...

Flowers in the Attic? Now that would be a great time-killer!

Petunia Face said...

I'm a little burnt out on online games. (Trivia Crack is whack.)

And I'm ashamed/not ashamed to say that I reread Flowers in the Attic a few months ago in my No Shame Book Club.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Trivia Crack is whack, but then there is candy crush and I wish I had never started it, but there it is. I hope you have a Kindle or something like it with you to read. I also can imagine that talking to your father must be interesting. I wish mine would be still alive - there is so much to tell and discuss. When we were kids and bored, my father played "city, country, river" with us. It's a game where you name a city, country, river, profession, flower ....and something else I forgot now....according to the alphabet. Just choose a letter and both parties write down what they come up with. Whoever is finished first, can name the new letter of the alphabet. It sounds weird, but it's actually a fun game (and taught us kids a lot about geography).

Mr. X said...

Are you one for meditation?

I've long wanted to learn it, but could never get past about three minutes, before all my racing thoughts got the best of me.

Last year, I visited a local Transcendental Meditation (TM) school, in hopes of learning from a seasoned practitioner. But, the cost was $1,500.

For that price, I figured I could have a lifetime supply of Klonopin and possibly achieve a similar effect.



Nancy Fastenau, Fastenau and Associates said...

There's a package in it's way to you. Maybe that will be some fun. Want more book ideas? Henry reads some funny authors and loves them. Just ask. I can only imagine. Hugs and kisses.

mes said...

I just have to tell you. I am a long time lurker (yup, I just used that word) and am 1,000% over blogs in general (dipped my toe in that water and was so put off by the bullshit) but have always loved your writing and so moved by your updates lately. So I'm compelled to comment. Which I never do. On anything. But I just think you are brave and real and truly an inspiration to me who is sitting here feeling sorry for myself for stupid (in)fertility-related reasons. You make me want to keep fighting and pushing the envelope and hanging in even when I don't really feel like it. So, thank you. And I am so rooting for you!

Petunia Face said...

Mes, I know what you mean about blogs. When I started blogging in 2007 (!!!!) it was such a different world. People were real, sincere; it wasn't about monetizing, mostly because most of us didn't realize we could make money. I truly do not blame anyone for going that route. I tried for a bit but gave up. I found it more important to me (and only my own opinion!) to just blog for my own sanity.

Not to say I haven't made mistakes along the way or almost gave up 4 dozen times. But I'm glad I'm here, and I really, really happy you're reading.

I used to leave comments on so many blogs--probably 20 comments a day across all the hundreds of blogs I read. Now I probably only read 30 blogs a day, and hardly ever leave a comment. I'm not sure why. I freaking LOVE comments. I should probably do it more often.

That being said, the amount of comments I get on my blog has gone down considerably, even when the readership has remained steady. I just think that's how the blogging world has changed. There aren't as much comments, and while I wish I still got as much, I can hardly complain as I don't comment often on other blogs.

Mostly people comment on my FB now. Or just not at all.

Sorry. Your comment just made me think of all of this and reflect a bit.

So thank you. And DO NOT GIVE UP. Whatever any of us are going through, none of it is stupid and all of us can be bad ass mofos who get through it, whatever it is.

Sending you love, strength, courage, grace and BALLS!


beachbungalow8 said...

You've definitely inspired me to revisit, Ye Olde Blogge. I put it to rest (i.e. quit) one day apropos to nothing really. Maybe it was because I felt like design blogging had just become a sea of "swooning" and "coveting". Same rhetoric, same images, same-same all seeming to have some kind of an agenda. Which, good for them. I was never hungry enough, I guess.

When we all started it seemed like it came from a sincere place - not an "in-order-to" place.I just talked about, design-whatever and the people who commented (you among them) commented because we were all having a conversation. Then came the era of commenting to up your own traffic numbers; and with that the trolls. Then it just became, not that much fun.

The fact that we used to produce those 'Blog Out Loud' events, because we wanted to share with fellow creatives, is sort of funny (funny as in, stupid funny)now. We just wanted to, "share" with other creatives ( said with a wide eyed, slow blinking naive voice ). Create some sort of community of like minds!

Really we were just, naive to the BANK we could have made. Turns out that much saavier business folks did just what we did but turned it into a conference that people actual PAY to attend! Brilliant.

But now that I feel as though I've laid off blogging for so long, I sort of feel like I've stripped my blog back to it's original raw self. If anyone is still out there looking at it, I think they're, probably, there out of authentic interest. Which makes me want to go back and start blogging about random design crap just for the hell of it.

I wish I had some sort of snappy anecdote for your boredom. It must be torturous.

Thanks for continuing to write through this. It's been a privilege to be allowed to see into your world during this time.

beachbungalow8 said...

"its" not it's

Petunia Face said...

Beach Bungalow 8! I feel like we are talking about when candy bars were a quarter and we used to sneak into the drive in...but they were and we did.

I loved the community we were all in back then, the chatter and the passion and yes, even the sting of a troll. I remember lining up guest bloggers when I went on vacation because, I don't know, I thought people would care if I didn't post? But mostly because it was like inviting your friends over to use your pool even when you weren't at home.

You know, you are still on my Blog Roll (I am probably one of the very few who still even has one on her blog), and you're in my blog reader, so every now and then when you stick your toes in I see you and always admire your pedicure.

No pressure, but the blogging world could use more of you. ;)

Miss you, thank you and more!