Monday, September 10, 2012

First

Guess who started first grade today?
Hint: the girl whose mother spent the night before looking at baby photos of her, remembering the dimples on the backs of each finger and how her mouth was always shiny. The same girl whose mother spent the morning looking in the mirror as she pulled the skin back from her eyes to test its elasticity. That girl. This one, her eyes the color of moss on wood and teeth that surely must tap out perfection in Morse Code.

After hours spent laying out her clothes, this was the winning combo: neon yellow shorts, cat shirt, leopard sweater. Not pictured: brown knock-off Uggs. Yeah. Pictured: Confidence. Fuck Yeah.
Compare to last year...
She could not get there fast enough; I walked quickly to catch up, trying not to think of the back of her head, the small shadow appearing in the space behind each knee as she moved forward and away.
My only saving grace came when the teacher asked the students to draw a picture on their name card and Zoey...she drew a heart dripping blood and skulls.
I fucking love this girl, a visceral squeeze of certainty and thank you. This is first grade.

11 comments:

Michelle M in KY said...

OH SUSANNAH...
OMG! You just reached in and squeezed my heart! This march of time...on and on. It's relentless! It's so f'ing sad and sweet and bitter! She is beautiful. I feel you Mama. We are all still in this same boat together. Trying to paddle backwards fast while the tide keeps pushing us forward. I hope she had a wonderful first day of FIRST grade! p.s. you guys start way later than us. Today maked the beginning of our 4th week back in school. Too soon, all too soon!

Jules said...

God help us all if Mikey and Zoey ever hook up. I'm not sure the world could handle the awesome that would surely issue forth.

(Hearts and skulls? Mikey would have proposed to heron the spot.)

sunshine said...

Zoe is such a cool girl, from 1st day of school to a bright future, I am sure she will do great things!!!

You are truly a wonderful Mom with an amazing love for your babies, you rock!

Pia said...

I sort of feel like we're living parallel lives...my girl started first grade last week, and today is the big 4-0 for me. Physically I'd take my 20s back in a heartbeat, but in every other way I'm glad to be where I'm at now.

Your girl is exquisite!

ZDub said...

I just adore her.

xx-Z

Isa said...

Mi adorada S,

Write, write and keep on writing. You are my hero.
Wishing la hermosa de Zoe, THE BEST 1st grade year of her life.
Besos de canela, anis y nuez.
Isabel

Isa said...

p.s.: Have a peek at:

www dot superherolife dot com



Petunia Face said...

Thanks you guys!
XOXOXOX!

appletree said...

heart dripping blood and skulls? She is awesome.

Tamara said...

Honestly thinking about leaving the office early to go home and completely make out with my wee one after reading this post. They're magic, right?

Anonymous said...

Petunia face- I don't know who you are and I'm not even sure how I found my way to your page, but you are speaking my language. So much so that I'm drinking a glass of wine and eating popcorn as I watch the RHONY reunion (I think I can abbreviate at this point). Anyway - your daughter had clearly inherited your aesthetic and someone's good looks- I'm going to assume they are yours since I have no evidence otherwise. Btw- loved your thoughts on the inflatable horse anus and diaper receptacle. You have managed to eloquently articulate those sleep deprived thoughts I think we have all had caring for young children. I've enjoyed your posts-- you won your self another follower tonight. Thank you