Sunday, July 8, 2012

Do the Right Thing

One day this blog is going to be Mike Tyson in orange leather overall shorts leaning against a bale of hay with Don King. Which is to say that one day I will be embarrassed of it, by it, the sheer girth of its thighs. Or maybe--who knows? Maybe one day I will own it, think stho? (You know, because Mike Tyson has a lisp and apparently in this analogy so does my blog/me.) Stho? I wore orange leather overall shorts and bit the ear off a man. Yeah, that wasth me, and it wasth gooood. Which it was, at times, this blog. I think. Not the ear of a man because I have never done that, but what I have done here.

When I was little I used to pretend that Johnny Carson was interviewing me. And every night I brought down the house, was asked back the next night and the next until--I don't know when I stopped or why. Maybe it was just two nights that I pretended and the memory has expanded with time.

The point is, I have loved it here, my own teeny tiny corner of the world wide web, a magical mystical place of which I can barely conceive. I love the whole of it: internet shopping and Facebook, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Share This, Like That, Upload, Embed, Hyperlink and Google, Google Images, Google Maps, Google Analytics, Google Reader, This Blog and That One, all of it a rabbit hole where hold on, just a minute turns into 2am and a strange woman in Missouri knows more about me than most of my friends IRL. (LOL with the IRL. That right there is some pleather overall shorts.)

But the internet has no limit, no last page to turn letting you know it's time to get some sleep or go outside. So I don't know what to do with this feeling that this is the end. Blogging is dead. People have been saying that for over 5 years now and I have always thought it was a crock. Blogging is not dead, there are too many amazing writers, too many stories left to tell. But what if just my blog is dead?

Oh, I am probably not going anywhere and I am certainly not dead. I just need to think for a bit about what this is. This space. This blog and my voice, what I am doing here and if I should ask myself back for another night or a thousand. Lean in close to Don King as we rest against a bale of hay in a url somewhere on a Tier 3 Network far, far away. If I listen closely I am pretty sure he is telling me something smart, something wise...can you hear what he is saying? Or maybe he's just telling me I should have sprinkled some cornstarch on my balls.*

*See? I'm totally coming back. Because there's no way I could let that be the last sentence on my blog.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Blogging isn't dead, just overrun with people who shouldn't be blogging. You're not one of them. Hope you see you post again soon!

krista said...

i only think blogging is dead because everyone thought they could make a living doing it.
and i'm with anonymous up there. you're not one of them.
(identifying myself with anonymous is its own pleather short, don't you think?)

Claire said...

No no no! Your blog has not run its full course yet! I still love it too much. Your words have meaning- truth and humor and philosophy and goodness. Don't sign off yet!

Anonymous said...

I've never commented before, but your blog is at the top of my 'to read' list! I seriously love and admire the way you write. I hope you don't decide to stop...

leigh said...

i don't think blogging is dead, i think it's just that the internet has been overrun with blogs... ones that pull heart strings and put huge smiles on your face like yours... well they are the gold nuggets.

your blog was one of the first that I started reading, and I get so excited when you post these days ;) I will miss you if you choose to leave this place, but I hope you do not.

xo.

Anonymous said...

pleeeeeeeeeeease don't stop posting!!!!!!!

Jules said...

I agree with what everyone else has said. Time to start separating the wheat from the chaff.

kerwin said...

Good tidings from the gal in Missouri that knows a lot about your life!

Please don't stop. I would have very few distractions at work if you did. Should you decide to hang it up, please know that you brought that video of Ryan Gossling dancing as a child into my life, and for that, I will be forever in your debt.

Caiti said...

This strange woman in Illinois has been enjoying your blog since you linked to it on the April 06 baby boards. Don't stop!

Emily said...

I am now strangely jealous of the person in Missouri? Don't ever ever stop writing, and feel free to throw away the orange overalls.

Anonymous said...

Hi, strange woman from Utah commenting here. I have a boring office job and your blog has made my day many times. You are seriously hilarious, you have the best syntax. I love your posts.

Chanele Eichbauer

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. you make me laugh which is not easy to do.

Michelle M in KY said...

OH SUSANNAH...
I do not know what I would do if you stop writing. Yours is a blog that is funny, deep with meaning and has so many moments that make you step back & think for a moment or two. I, personally have enjoyed your writing, looked forward to your posts & was all but thrilled when you would write exactly what I was thinking or experiencing. You have the gift girl! Truly, you do! Please, please don't leave OH SUSANNAH!

Anonymous said...

To compare your writing to other blogs, would be like comparing a Lamborghini to every Ford Pinto, Chevy Chevette and AMC Gremlin on the road. Yes, they are all automobiles, but only one would you park in your driveway.

I almost never read other blogs, but I check to see if you have written something new just about every day. Some of your postings are good... but only on your worst day. The rest of the time, they are brilliant, with nuggets of genius – something thought-provoking, something hilarious or something fresh in perspective that everyone reads and thinks, 'That's just what I was thinking,' except they weren't, because we're not as witty, clever or free-thinking as you are.

Clearly, you have talent far beyond this blog and those of us who grab onto your every word for free. You deserve to be published and paid for your words, because truly exceptional talent is rare and deserves to be compensated. Your life may not be so different from millions of others', but your ability to describe it in interesting ways is mind-bogglingly rare.

Doing anything for a long period of time can begin to feel repetitive or stale. If you think your writing is like that... you are wrong. Some days you entertain me, some days you educate me, some days you gross me out. But every time I see you have a new posting, I look forward to reading it, and I never come away disappointed. The only exception would be if I thought it was your last one.

Can't wait to read what you say next...

Molly said...

Don't you dare! Never mind Missouri, I'm in Cape Town and I'd be distraught ...

wonderchris said...

You leave?!?!?! Please no.

That's selfish, but I'm only speaking for myself so of course it is...but truly please don't go girl...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH3hqQP1bto

NKTOB - FTW.

Anonymous said...

Do the right thing: please don't stop writing. Pretty please!!

Susannah said...

I just found your blog recently and think you are really talented, although I completely understand how you feel about Internet fatigue.

I hope you keep writing - you are fresh and funny, and original. That goes a long way. But you have to do what feels right and fresh for you. Good luck figuring it all out!

Sarah said...

Oh please darling, you can't stop writing for you are waaaay too talented not to. I am a new follower and look so forward to your posts. You write in such a poetic and real way that it would be a shame not to share it with the world!!! I would miss you terribly and then my Husband wouldn't be able to ask me, "Uuum, why are you smiling like a creep at your computer screen????" Side note-I would smile like a creep when I read your posts.
xoxo, Sarah

Michelle M in KY said...

OH SUSANNAH...
OK, I completely wanted to say what the "anonymous" person said after my first post...So, ditto that! :)

Petunia Face said...

Oh I love you all so. Of course my head is now getting big and bigger...

I just need some time, I think. A breather to refresh. Which scares me because I know that tomorrow is a slippery slope to never again, but I have to inhale anyway.

Deep breath.

They say "don't hold your breath" meaning something cannot be counted on, but I swear: I will be back. A week, a month, I'm not sure, but how could I not return after you all said such beautiful things about my writing?

Exhale.

love,
S

Chelsea said...

Fun fact - your blog was the FIRST blog I EVER read, ever. And over a year later (maybe close to two??) I still follow and read your blog religiously. You're a fantastic writer and I would be heartbroken to see you go!

Anonymous said...

My adoring post to your genius writing didn't post yesterday, so I'll just go with what the long Anon. post above says.

mikky said...

Don`t TKO your blog. Ok had to think of a Tysonesque like to use. Keep on going, I like your writting style. Funny I used to pretend to be interviewed all the time too. I always liked to be interviewed by Robin Leech thought in my swanky mansion, I mean one of my swanky mansions! I do remember pretending to be interviewed by Johnny Carson he was always wearing the turbin in mine. We have too much of an imagination I guess!

:)
mikky
www.todaloos.com

sherri said...

I feel you. I just read another similar disillusioned with blogging post. After reading this one, I am inspired to really try hard to take a blogging break. I need it. I still want to read your blog, though. so don't get any ideas.

Anonymous said...

I've never commented ion any blog ever before, but I love yours and if you stop writing I will sincerely miss you. Please please please keep going.

Anonymous said...

Please don't go. If you do, I will be forced to read GOOP over and over, and Gwyneth ain't no Petunia Face. Ok, that was a bit of a desperate plea, but the comment box has no space for me to stick out my lower lip. You are freakin' hilarious, talented, and an amazing writer. But do take care o' yourself. We readers support you in doing what you need to do. You are also human, and we love you for it. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

I've read a few blogs here and there, but your blog is the only one that has stuck. You are talented and relatable. Please don't leave us!

xinefly said...

You're right, blogging does feel sort of dead. All the others have become so transparent in the fact that they are trying (too hard) to sell me something. But yours...It's the only one that's like an organic novel. Maybe I just need a way to download it on my iPhone nook app instead.

Anonymous said...

I first stumbled across your blog about a year and a half ago when I was pregnant. The first post I read made me cry. Since then I have I have laughed, cryed, and gained alot of insight. Being a first time mother, your blog has helped me not feel so alone with the struggles I've had that are simalar to yours. There aren't many other places I can think of to read such open and personal stories other than this strange world of the internet. Whether or not you end this blog, I'd like to thank you for helping me in a time of need.

Patti-atti said...

I can't remember exactly how long ago it was when I first found your blog, but I know it was years ago, and when I found it, I was so in love with the way that you wrote and the things that you said, that I went back and read every single post from beginning to end. So there.

Take a break if you want, but come back! We'll be waiting :)

Anonymous said...

You are the best part of my morning internet routine. Please don't stop. You have a gift.

Buff said...

Please, please, please don't stop! Your blog is by far the best of em. You have this amazing ability to comment on the every day with fantastic humor and the wisdom of an old soul. Please keep writing! Your blog always brings a smile to my face

fromadistance said...

Dear Petunia,

Please keep on blogging as your thoughts and reflections do join mine in many ways. I
t's comforting that I am not the only one with "different" thoughts about everyday life. xo

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Alexsandria said...

I have been reading your blog for 4 years now. I don't come here every day, or even every month. But when I do, I find myself reading and reading until I've come to the place I last left off a couple months ago. Sometimes even 5 or 6 months. But I always come back. Because you truly have a gift with words. There is no other blog on the internet that I read regularly. or really at all. I would definitely miss reading if you were gone.
Having said that, I can see how maybe always updating a blog could funnel creative energy away from other more ambitious writing projects. If this is the case and perhaps you plan to focus your energy on say, a book of some kind, I wish you well. But if you're just walking away because it seems irrelevant, I urge you to read these comments and take pity on us. Of course, we'll be fine without you, but we would be just a tiny bit better with you. And that's kind of important these days.
I may have only commented a handful of times so you probably don't even recognize me, but over the course of 4 years you have made me laugh and cry more than once. And I don't even particularly relate to you! I have no children and I would NEVER wear leopard print. You're just good like that. So, what I'm saying is, don't go. At least entirely. ok?

Anonymous said...

I also have never commented before, but I absolutely love your blog! I really hope you don't stop writing!

Anonymous said...

please don't go. now i've finally had a kid (6 months ago) i relate to you even more. damn it, i need you woman!

Anonymous said...

i stayed away for a week and just came back with my fingers crossed that don king and an orange leather clad mike would be replaced by something equally awesome and disturbing. drats. impatient as i am, i will wait as long as it takes for my favorite blog ever to resume, but please come back soon!!!!

Anonymous said...

OK - break over... come back please!

Heidi F. said...

I sure hope you're working on that book.....