Wednesday, November 30, 2011

6 months

Dearest Ozzy,

Bubba. Buddy. Mister. Love. It is 9pm, which means there are 3 hours left in your 6 month birthday. I like to quantify things, which you probably already know about me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I love you? 10 being squishing a mouse in my pocket-love? 417,000 to the power of you. I have also never been good at math. You smell like the color of cream, of warm sheets, wet gums, of things multiplied and growing.

I look at this photo and can't help but think that one day this will be the direct gaze staring at me from a graduation pic, a wedding photo, from the corner of a business card should you become a real estate agent, I don't know. Just this: there you are. My boy. All boy. I don't know how much is me putting gender on your everything, but you are: such a boy. The way you laugh when your sister makes a loud noise, your stance before you even know how to stand.

At night you sleep in our bed. You fuss and grunt, babble, call out until I push my boob into your mouth, and then you breathe deeply, sigh, sleep. There is no other way to put it, this dance, nothing poetic about poking my nipple around in the dark across your face until I feel your wet mouth open. I'm sorry to embarrass you already but it's funny to think of the first time you encounter a "real" girl's boob, how I think you will push yourself into it greedily and then fall instantly asleep once you make contact.


Moving on. You like airplanes and cats, carrots, the window down when we drive. You are big. 91st percentile, and lately you have started to do this backstroke thing across the floor, opting not to crawl quite yet but to push yourself laying down on your back like a fish. Oooo. You sound like an owl, my backward fish-owl boy who smells of cream of wheat and soft.

183 days, give or take, like I said: I suck at math. A lifetime is what it is, these last 6 months, yours. Because I am just that: yours.



krista said...

i am reading this in a puddle of my own soft. tshirt wet with the remnants of nursing my own. he's sleeping right here next to me and he just sighed ever so deeply in his sleep. perhaps that is why i think you wrote this just for me. i'm going to pretend you did.

Alexandria said...

You just made me cry. This is so sweet. Happy 6 months Ozzy! Huge hugs and kisses to you and your mommy.

SGM said...

Oh, this was lovely. The eyes part especially true. Why does life move so quickly? Sigh.

Weitzell4 said...

6 months is a big milestone. Just ask my big 4 year old who just turned 4 and a HALF and can't stop telling everyone he encounters that he's not 4 anymore but 4 and a HALF.

Nancy Fastenau, Fastenau and Associates said...

Oh wow, how wonderfully you capture your feelings and put them out there for, not just Ozzy, but all of us as well. Thank you so much!

amanda said...

he looks sooooo much like zoey, it's crazy!!!! what a love. i love your way with words, coupled with your great wit and wicked sense of humor. happy happy!

amber {daisy chain} said...

oh, wow, he's getting so so big and he looks JUST like you!!! 6 months is a big milestone, give him hugs for us!