Thursday, October 6, 2011

On Paper

A curious thing happened on the bus this evening. The woman next to me was reading my blog on her phone. And then my head exploded.

Let me back up.

I am in love with my bus driver. He is large and mean, does not appear to have a neck and is mean. Yes, that mean. He yells at people who take too long to swipe their commuter card, doesn't allow talking, honks at cars and gets me home super fast. Normally I sit in the first seat behind him, and lately I've noticed that he unfolds a commuter schedule and tapes it upside down onto the plexiglass behind his head. I imagine this is so I cannot count the folds where the base of his head meets his shoulders. He was gone for a few days this week and I worried that he had been fired. I've heard rumblings from other commuters that they were going to complain about him to the transit authority, but today he was back and I was happy. I don't know why I love him, really. It's not like I have a thing for mean people or anything against necks for that matter. It's just--he's so unapologetic, so very large and so him. Anyway, at one point tonight he laid on the horn at a well-meaning Prius making me snap my head up startled and there it was. The woman next to me reading this blog.


For a minute I thought I was looking at my own phone. And then maybe I was looking at myself, out of body, but no, there she was and there I was, two strange women prattling down Post Street in the seated position and I wondered if maybe I should say something. Point to the picture: that's me? But then I remembered that there is still a strep face scab under my nose and how someone at work had just discreetly told me I had something there? With a little finger motion to my nose because she thought it was a booger so I didn't say anything because who wants their blogger to have what looks like a booger but is really a scab. Not me, that's who.

Years ago a good friend told me that a girl that we both used to work with read my blog and loved it. She is so funny! this girl said. I wish I had known. I would have liked to have been friends with her. Which is nice except I had worked with her for maybe 5 years and she did know me but apparently did not want to be friends with the not-blog me.

You're hard to get to know, my good friend said, a fact I know to be true.
So I sat next to the lady while she read my blog without even knowing that I was sitting right next to her and I thought about how celebrities always have disproportionately large heads in real life and about how I have a scab under my nose that won't heal and love a fat bus driver despite the fact or because he's mean.


eRin said...

That's fairly awesome. She's going to read this and be sorry you didn't say anything. I bet she would have liked to have a chat with you, the same way my sister recognized you at your favorite pirate store.

The unfortunate thing about blogging though, is that everyone feels like they've gotten to know you but you don't have the same luxury and you don't really know whether you want to chat up random people on the bus or in your favorite pirate store...though, if she reads your blog, hopefully she knows about the strep face and wouldn't be put off. Hope that's all over, except for that last little souvenir!

mosey (kim) said...

I can pretty much guarantee that she knew it was you. Your face is undeniably recognizable (and gorgeous). I promise I'm no stalker but I've seen you around town a few times and remember the jolt of recognition the first time - like when you meet someone you know in an out-of-context situation. I've never approached 'cause I'm 1) shy and 2) realize that you don't necessarily enjoy the real-life connection with readers of your blog. (which I get)

sunshine said...

Did she seem nervous at all???

Maybe she really knew who you were but she got "star struck" and felt she was "not worthy" of recognizing you...

I know for a fact that if it would have being me, I would probably make you feel like a movie star!!!

Have a nice weekend :)

Petunia Face said...

eRin--I totally remember being recognized in the pirate store and how huge it made me feel. (Huge in a good way, not in the ate-too-much-raw-cookie-dough way.) Say hi to your sister :)

mosey (kim)--first of all, thank you. Today the scab beneath my nose looks even scabbier so it's nice to hear you call me gorgeous. I have a gorgeous scab. Yes. I am going to tell myself that all day today. Next time you see me say hello and we can be shy together. It's not that I don't enjoy real-life connection--I do, I swear. I'm just awkward at it.

sunshine--you just made me feel like a movie star with your comment. See also: scab on face and feeling like a meth face. Thank you :)

Thank you all.

Richie Designs said...

love that! you're such a super star!! remember when I was in town and someone asked if it was you?

rock star!!

Anonymous said...

You know, of course, that the only people who don't read your blog are the ones who haven't discovered it yet, right?

How could anyone read the infectious (in a good way) mix of humor, pathos, shock and contemplation that is your blog and not become addicted to it?

I am sure there are many of us who read regularly, but from long distance, who would love to stumble upon you while out and about. On behalf of us, you look great, your kids are adorable, and I can't get enough of reading everything you write.

Michelle M in KY said...

LOVE it!
You already know I think you're a rock star!

xinefly said...

I'm LOL, because I read your blog... and if we were on a bus together that would be totally weird. But please don't ever stop blogging, because I have no idea what I would read that would make me giggle out loud at work like I do!

Mornings with Milo said...
looks like someone else reads your blog too! Look familiar??

Cindy W. said...

How surreal. I would totally want to come up and say hi, but I over-talk when I'm nervous. Therefore, I would either embarrass myself or stay away altogether. I guess I'd probably go for it.

Sometimes I like weird people that I "shouldn't" like, too. i.e., the mean bus driver


shannon said...

Dear Susannah,

It's me, the girl who followed you out of the pirate store and sheepishly asked if you were, in fact, Susannah. I am catching up on your blog (still my favorite) after a couple months away from my blog universe, and oh how I've missed it.

I love that this bus thing happened. I am sure you would have made that lady's day if you had said hello, scab or no scab. I know that seeing you in person (and then being mentioned in a post) totally rocked MY world. But maybe the bus lady isn't as star struck as I. But to me you are a celeb, and I hope that's not weird. If I ever recognize you in public again, you can bet your business I will say hello.