Tuesday, November 2, 2010

What I Did On My Summer Vacation...in October

I did not visit my grandmother. Or go to camp. I did not get you a shirt that said "My Blog Friend Went On A Break And All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt," though I would have had I thought of it before now because for some reason I always coveted *those shirts when I was ten. No, this Summer Vacation...in October I did not kiss a boy, catch a fish or work evenings at the DQ, though I did start a new job. A kick ass happy new job, which is all that needs to be said about that. A job that makes me happy.

I also ruined my hair on my Summer Vacation...in October. One fine morning I flat ironed my hair, as I have been doing since I was 15 and slid the crimping plates off my Conair Hair Styler to try out the flat plates. It was a revolution, let me tell you, and now all these years later I am still ironing out the cowlicks and the frizz. In a fugue state, it would seem, as that fateful morning it took me a few thick sections to register the dead body stench of burnt hair. To make a long story short, my faithful 4th generation flat iron (now with tourmaline!) had gone on the fritz and singed half my head into a Brillo pad of aw fuck, no. 4 hours and don't tell Bryan how much $$ later, I have much shorter, darker hair that is still brittle and iffy and, no, I am not happy.

Of course there was also the traditional Halloween festivites that occur each Summer Vacation. Zoey was Medusa.
A stunningly cute Medusa, if I do say so myself, though she did turn me to stone when she suddenly wanted to pull the snakes from her hair. I had a bit of a Toddlers & Tiaras moment when I yanked her into another room to hiss at her that she had to wear the snakes, you are not Medusa without snakes, no one will give you candy when you trick or treat if they can't tell you are Medusa. Because apparently Medusa's mother was the suburban Gorgon Susannakaplolis, a split-tongued sea monster who waits off the Isle of Hormonos to feast on the flesh of little girls who just want to look pretty.
Baby steps, people. Tomorrow I will be back with something better, I promise. Big. GER. And better...

*Also? Inexplicabley those Go Climb a Rock shirts. I have not climbed many rocks in my time, nor have I harbored a secret desire to do so, but those shirts always seemed so freaking cool to me.

xo,
S

p.s. I missed you.

22 comments:

Jules said...

Yay! I can't wait.

p.s. That entire paragraph about you and the split tongue had me laughing. You'll have to write that one down in your log book directly under "Mmmmmm. Buttons."

p.s.s. Even writing buttons I had to chuckle.

Weitzell4 said...

Welcome back! We were waiting. Yay to the job! And I am so glad that I am not the only mom who has those moments (instantly regretted of course).

anita @ a dreamer's den said...

SO Happy for you! Hurray on the new job.
(We've all spoken in hiss to our children...it just comes with the territory.)

Geli said...

Ah, here she is!! We (I am sure I speak for all of us
faithful readers) have missed you sorely. There is such a shortage on really humorous blogs, everyone flocks to your site to get a much needed chuckle. Welcome back!
Zoey looks adorable, by the way...and we need to see a picture of your new hairdo, please!

Mrs. Blandings said...

Excellent, excellent news. Glad you are back.

emily b. said...

(so glad you're back! hooray!)

sell timeshare said...

There is such a shortage on really humorous blogs, everyone flocks to your site to get a much needed chuckle. Welcome back

Beth said...

Happy that you are back!!!

ZDub said...

Welcome back, Zoey looks adorbs.

sweetbittertart said...

Yay! Missed you lots!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic to see you again!! Here are two thoughts that went running through my head as I read this.. 1. Wow! How did she get Z to wear false eyelashes with her costume?! That mom really goes all out with the make-up... wait.. those aren't falsies! Lucky little Zoey! and 2. I'm too old to covet a tshirt but I secretly do.. I really want one that brags that I ran a marathon! Which will never happen.. but I have seen the shirts for sale at thrift shops! :)
Janna in Seattle

sherri said...

glad to see you back and how cool is it that she was medusa for halloween?

shannon said...

Glad to have you back! And a big fat congratulations on the job!

Bearden 365 said...

You're back! Yay!

Romantic Bed and Breakfasts said...

I just went to beach in 2nd Sunday of the October with my family. It was excited trip.

Simply Mel said...

YES, you are back! All is right in the world again.

Sarahviz said...

Glad you're back!

Shannon said...

So glad you are back. Congrats on the j-o-b. I have always wanted to be medusa but the snakes in the hair I could never seem to make work, nice job!

Misplaced Country Girl said...

Thank God you're back!

lizziesays said...

Happy happy you're back. I hate break-ups!!!

Rolerkite said...

Yay! So happy you are back.

wonderchris said...

We missed you too!! So good to have you back!!! That is the cutest medusa I have ever seen!!!