Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Haul

Did you ever play that game when you were a kid in which each person recites "my grandmother went to London and she brought me back a..." and then the next person goes and adds to the list and so on and so forth until suddenly it's your turn and you have to remember a litany of hats and books and a block of hashish? Or maybe your grandmother went to the market, or it wasn't your grandmother at all, but the game wherein you have to remember a list of seemingly nonsensical things from a time before the internet when we kids would sit on the stoop under the plum tree and play a memory game that I'm not even sure even had a name? Yeah, that. Well, this weekend Zoey's Grandma Glitter a.k.a. my mom took us shopping and we brought back a:
  • Turtle. Or a tortoise, not sure. It's taxidermied and very dead, about 10" long and now resides on a side table in the living room. Zoey picked this out, fell in love with it really, and before I knew it Grandma Glitter had added it to the pile on the counter. (It's a good thing Zoey did not take a liking to the petrified cat corpse in the glass case. Or the mermaid about which I could only identify that it was dead, whatever it was.)
  • Strange children. I have no idea what these were once for (they each have a perforation at the top) but they remind me of a Diane Arbus photo or at the very least those twins in The Shining, i.e. they are awesome.
  • Formal kitten portrait, certainly a Victorian ancestor of our very own Nacho Borracho.
  • Owl ring. Craptastic pic of a fabulous gold number for only 20 bucks. Makes me look like I could knock a bitch out, or wise, or both.
  • Antique baby head vase currently housing a gerbera daisy. On Zoey's nightstand as we speak--sweet dreams!
  • One fox. Life-sized, not taxidermied, already loved.

Not pictured: rhinestone hummingbird pin, tacky heart necklace, 2 Ramona Quimby books, pink nail polish, gold headband and one hair comb. In other words, Zoey's Grandma Glitter went to Haight Street and brought us back a dead turtle, strange children, formal Victorian cat portrait, one owl ring, antique baby head vase, a fox, rhinestone hummingbird pin, a tacky heart necklace, 2 Ramona Quimby books, pink nail polish, a gold headband and one hair comb. Got that?

And for the record--the only item technically for me was the owl ring. But I went home feeling as if I'd been given so much--too much--anyway.



Kendra plus 2 said...

Best grandma ever! said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! antique baby head!!!!
my eyes!!!
that's on a nightstand?! hope there's a therapy fund too.
sucking my thumb just looking at it again.
thank god i have zoey's sweet face to soothe me from this daisy diablo.

p.s. how telling? my word verification for commenting is "monster"......ahem.

nova said...

I just bought the exact same ring in silver like a week ago! I'm wearing it right now. Twins!

Marla Good said...

Yeah, so I mostly lurk, okay, and chiming in here and now to say that I recently saw the "Strange Children" being sold in the American Folk Art Museum as souvenirs of the Henry Darger exhibit doesn't make them, or me, seem any less weird - does it?

Ciara Obscura said...

These are some trippy picks.
I love that you and your mama and Zoe can find such delight in this motley crew of random awesomeness.
Nice job.

Petunia Face said...

Yes, I think this is how I can tell Zoey is my child. Well, this and the fact that she looks exactly like me. Tonight she did me very proud by saying she wants to be Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas for Halloween. *sigh* God, how I love my child.

Nova~how funny you are wearing the same ring!
Katie~I swear this doll face vase is not as creepy as it sounds. Looks. Okay, it is, but it's creepy cute.

Marla Good--any idea what my strange children are for? They were cheap, so I'm afraid they won't net me $2mil like that guy who bought the Ansel Adams negatives at the garage sale, even if they are at the American Folk Art Museum. But god, how awesome would that be?

Sarahviz said...

...and a partridge in a pear tree?

beachbungalow8 said...

I kinda have to agree, once you turn the lights out, give the 'night,night love yous' that head swivels and begins speaking in a deep voice, saying all kinds of horrifying things.