Friday, March 12, 2010

Things That Are Currently Tripping Me the Eff Out

by Susannah Clay Lastnamehere, age 37 and one half: 1. How in the movies it is apparently not necessary to say goodbye to someone before hanging up the phone. Somewhat related: how all beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her, or why women always seem to have sex while still wearing their bra.

2. The news that it actually rained fish in one Australian town. According to newscasters, the fish were possibly sucked up in a large thunderstorm and later deposited over land. Stranger still, it is the third time in less than 30 years that the town has been bombarded by falling fish, with previous reports of the phenomenon occuring in 1974 and 2004.

3. The thought when I am in a plane, that we are not supposed to actually see the world this way.
Plus the possibility that there are other ways in which we have not yet seen much of anything.

4. These pictures of a church in Venezuela:
The church—pictured in 2008 (left) and on February 21, 2010--had been inundated when a hydroelectric dam was built in 1985. Twenty years later the dam is now working at 7% capacity and the steeple has slowly risen, exposed, an ominous symbol of the country's power shortages. Or an act of God.

5. This: The fact that once upon a time when I wore bandanas as belts I thought Prince was one sexy beast. How I practiced in the mirror making the correct hand motions to I Would Die for You, and later, how I would lay in bed at night listening to Darling Nikki feeling woosh.

This world. This crazy, silly serious world where one day it will be 2024 and Zoey will leave for college. Right now there are some things going on that are tripping me the eff out but I cannot really talk about them. I hate when bloggers are all coy and shit just like that, writing about the unsaid. Guess what? No--don't. Read me! Honestly, I don't even know. So in lieu of what is making me specifically discombobulated I give you the above list. And this: that earthquake in Chile a few weeks ago? Well apparently it was so strong that it may have changed the Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet.

But Sunday is Daylight Savings!



Vanessa said...

Ummm, that fish-rain will be on my mind for at least a week. Bizarro world, indeed.

Cindy said...

Wow. You are forcing me to think harder than I wanted to today.

Movie women also usually walk away from the bed with the sheet wrapped around them. I've have never ever done that.

One fish, two fish, raining on you fish.

I also used to wear bandanas as belts. They don't make bandanas as big as they used to, I don't think...

I hope you get your combobulation back soon.


goodniteirene said...

i'm tripped the eff out by the fact that i'm 33 years old and have acne of a 15 year old. meth face as i call it. at age 15, with perfect skin, i hoped val kilmer would marry me, we'd grow old together, and he'd age beautifully.
talk about tripping.

Mrs. Blandings said...

It just trips me out that I used to be able to wear a bandana as a belt with blue jeans. Seriously.

krista said...

that cloud picture is amazing. but, yes, the allure of seeing clouds like that now gives me the fear of flying. and not in the erica jong 'whoosh' kind of way.
i'm going to use 'whoosh' today in a sentence at work. i'll let you know how it goes.

jennifer said...

I think I may now be having an effing mid-life crisis

Kwana said...

Your whole list blows my mind. Blows it!
1. All those things are so annoying.

Also I was right there with you with Prince. My first love.

Christie said...

While reading the part about Prince I was thinking WOW!!! I did the same thing!

Hope everything that is trippin you out works out for you!

Good Enough Woman said...

First thing: Doesn't it also freak you out that Prince is now a Jehovah's Witness?

Second thing: Now I have to go teach a class with Darling Nikki stuck in my head.

AppleTree said...

Are you pregnant?

miss. chief said...

I ALWAYS THINK THE TELEPHONE THING. Every time I'm watching a movie I say "did she just hang up on him?"

Petunia Face said...

Woah, woah, woah--Prince is now a Jehovah's Witness??? Holy red Corvette.

I love all of your trippy thoughts. Sometimes life is one long Yo Gabba Gabba episode and I fully expect DJ Lance Rock to peer over the roof of my house.

AppleTree--nope, not pregnant :) If I ever do get pregnant again, I have no idea how I'd ever be able to not tell you all right the eff away.


Good Enough Woman said...

Yes, Prince is a Jehovah's witness. Therefore, he writes different music, he doesn't vote, he won't get hip surgery, and (I've heard) he witnesses door-to-door.

Stephanie said...

bugs the crap out of me too why no one ever says goodbye. Or when people are on the phone and, for example, a man is asking a woman out. They both agree that Thursday would work for them at that little Italian restaurant they both love. Then they say okay see ya then, but no one mentions a time. I mean, like, how will they know when to be there? 6 pm? or 7:30? or 8? shit, I dunno. Love the list!

Sharon, The Queen Blogger said...

Prince is a J.W.? I guess I won't be sending him a birthday gift this year!

Okay, here's what I hate that bloggers do: When they say "Well, you know how Jeff is" or "you know how I am". No! I do not know! Try a little description and explanation! I don't want to look through all your archives to figure it all out.

I guess that's why I never watched Lost. I never wanted to go back through all the episodes to figure out where they are now.

Now off I go to google "Prince" and "Jehovahs Witness" ...

Blogger said...

Did you know that you can create short links with AdFly and make dollars for every click on your short urls.