First they took away Pluto. Or maybe it was the brontosaurus, I don't know, so busy was I thinking granola was healthy. Turns out it's high in saturated fat, coconut oils, sugar, and get this--the brontosaurus has been deemed obsolete.
I know, right? The one dinosaur I could actually name. Apparently now it's called Apatosaurus which is like people calling me Susan which might as well be Pauline, it is that wrong. I am Susannah, the herbivore with the long necked small smile is the brontosaurus, and mercuryvenusearthmarsjupitersaturnuranusneptuneandpluto. Astronauts drink Tang, long division and the order of the solar system as they radiate from the sun: this is what I learned in the 4th grade and seeing as how I've completely forgotten how to bring down the one and the meaning of remainder they simply cannot take away Pluto or else I'll be left with just the Tang, i.e. fuck.
Zoey and I ate Lucky Charms for dinner last night. I know, I know, I'm a terrible mother but they truly are magically delicious and guess what? Maybe we didn't really eat Lucky Charms at all. Maybe I am not a terrible mother or a mother at all or a Susannah or a brontosaurus or a leperchaun looking for green clovers and purple horseshoes. Of course we have already established that I am not a Pauline. Because here's what they are saying now: the entire world might be nothing more than a hologram. Yep, our everyday experience might itself be a holographic projection of physical processes that take place on a distant, 2D surface. Huh? Yeah. You there, YOU. Reading this blog. You may be sitting there sipping your coffee because of something happening on the boundary of the universe. WTF, right? But at the same time, don't you feel just a smidegeon of oh my god, I just knew it!?
It's Monday but maybe it's not. Maybe you're at work or maybe you're just a projection divided by the speed of light. Maybe you're happy, maybe you're hungry, maybe you're wondering if Tamra and Simon are going through with the divorce after all, I don't know. Turns out I don't know much, what with Pluto and the brontosaurus no longer what they once were. The ubiquitous they and what they say microscopically random, like a hot gas. Speaking of which, the good times start 0:55 seconds in; enjoy.
Mad props to anyone who can explain just what the hell is going on with the universe and entropy, holograms. Or if you can just explain the black hole thermodynamics of Mondays, that would be cool, too.