Friday, November 13, 2009

Insouciant

If I smoked this is where I would do it, bare feet flat against the high side of a hot building.
But I don't smoke, of course. Or sit on ledges; I rarely wear a bathing suit outside of a swimming pool. In short, I am careful.

When I pick her up from preschool she is playing on the slide with the Pre-K boys. That's what she calls them, like the Lost Boys or the Boys of Summer, boys in a pack and all the more cool for it. The tallest one slides down head-first and says something that I don't understand and they laugh, crazed, the Pre-K boys and my Zoey. Later when I ask her what he said, what was so funny, she says she doesn't know, didn't know, or maybe she just forgot. The way she pulls at her string cheese like a harpist, she is the prettiest thing in the world and I want to jump, really I do. Instead I pull her back and eat my string cheese in bites.

8 comments:

Zakary said...

If I wear going to commit suicide, I would jump off the side of a very tall building in a puffy skirt. Right after I ground out a smoke.

And clutching photographs.

Too bad I'm medium afraid of heights.

JennyA said...

fab photo. and you are pure poetry my dear. pure poetry.

Sarah Ring said...

Stunning photo. Beautiful writing. What more could a gal ask for on a Friday afternoon?

MFAMB said...

what an image.

i used to smoke. i miss it. it was lovely.

fiona says similar things when asked.."i don't know". or in her voice it's "i'uhn'no" with a shrug. it hurts me deep. because she knows i know she knows.

Ms. Smart said...

Found my way here, gonna take a seat and stay... enjoyed your string of words.

Sparkie said...

Ouch. I don't know how mothers do it these days. Really. Having been through all we've been through. I couldn't do it. I didn't do it. I admire anyone who does. Oh, the humanity.
It's 12:21 am. Time for a smoke.

jennifer said...

oh, this image. it is of me, when i was me.

anita said...

i love that photo as much as i am afraid of it.
i wouldn't be able to look at her sitting like that - i am deathly afraid of ledges.
it's the exact feeling of 'edgy'. i see where that word comes from.