Friday, November 13, 2009

Insouciant

If I smoked this is where I would do it, bare feet flat against the high side of a hot building.
But I don't smoke, of course. Or sit on ledges; I rarely wear a bathing suit outside of a swimming pool. In short, I am careful.

When I pick her up from preschool she is playing on the slide with the Pre-K boys. That's what she calls them, like the Lost Boys or the Boys of Summer, boys in a pack and all the more cool for it. The tallest one slides down head-first and says something that I don't understand and they laugh, crazed, the Pre-K boys and my Zoey. Later when I ask her what he said, what was so funny, she says she doesn't know, didn't know, or maybe she just forgot. The way she pulls at her string cheese like a harpist, she is the prettiest thing in the world and I want to jump, really I do. Instead I pull her back and eat my string cheese in bites.

8 comments:

ZDub said...

If I wear going to commit suicide, I would jump off the side of a very tall building in a puffy skirt. Right after I ground out a smoke.

And clutching photographs.

Too bad I'm medium afraid of heights.

JennyA said...

fab photo. and you are pure poetry my dear. pure poetry.

Sarah - La Jeune Marie said...

Stunning photo. Beautiful writing. What more could a gal ask for on a Friday afternoon?

my favorite and my best said...

what an image.

i used to smoke. i miss it. it was lovely.

fiona says similar things when asked.."i don't know". or in her voice it's "i'uhn'no" with a shrug. it hurts me deep. because she knows i know she knows.

Ms. Smart said...

Found my way here, gonna take a seat and stay... enjoyed your string of words.

Sparkie said...

Ouch. I don't know how mothers do it these days. Really. Having been through all we've been through. I couldn't do it. I didn't do it. I admire anyone who does. Oh, the humanity.
It's 12:21 am. Time for a smoke.

jennifer said...

oh, this image. it is of me, when i was me.

pillow mint said...

i love that photo as much as i am afraid of it.
i wouldn't be able to look at her sitting like that - i am deathly afraid of ledges.
it's the exact feeling of 'edgy'. i see where that word comes from.